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Senate Foreign Relations Clown, Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen, Yaps About Oil Shipping Route Drama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Foreign Relations Clown, Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen, Yaps About Oil Shipping Route Drama

Big ElephantMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

OMG, Libs Are Freaking Out Over Trump’s Plan to Secure Oil! (Again!) Oh, good gravy, here we go again! The…

White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Early Stage Breast Cancer, Trump Reveals in Epic Announcement!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Early Stage Breast Cancer, Trump Reveals in Epic Announcement!

Big ElephantMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Breaking News: White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Breast Cancer! Well, folks, it seems like even the…

Fuze – Watch Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James and Sam Worthington Attempt to Steal a Plot That’s Barely There in the New Heist Thriller Trailer
London: Where Every Bomb is a Party Invitation!
Breaking, Movie News

Fuze – Watch Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James and Sam Worthington Attempt to Steal a Plot That’s Barely There in the New Heist Thriller Trailer

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

So, picture this: You’re sipping your tea, minding your own business in London when suddenly—BOOM!—well, not actually BOOM, thank God—but…

Meatpacking Workers Revolt: Cows Win as Humans Take a Break for Once!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meatpacking Workers Revolt: Cows Win as Humans Take a Break for Once!

Big ElephantMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Radical Union Thugs Strike Again, Threatening America’s Meat Supply In yet another blatant display of leftist union thuggery, thousands of…

Blood of the Wolf Man – Joshua Williamson and Leomacs Try Not to Get Eaten by Universal’s Latest Monster Mash
Universal Monsters: Blood of the Wolf Man #1 - Because Nothing Says "Fresh Take" Like 1970s Nostalgia
Breaking, Movie News

Blood of the Wolf Man – Joshua Williamson and Leomacs Try Not to Get Eaten by Universal’s Latest Monster Mash

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Skybound Entertainment and Image Comics, in partnership with Universal Products & Experiences, today announced Universal Monsters: Blood of the Wolf…

John Krasinski Confirms ‘A Quiet Place 3’ Is Coming Summer 2027: Prepare to Shush in Style Again!
Breaking, Movie News

John Krasinski Confirms ‘A Quiet Place 3’ Is Coming Summer 2027: Prepare to Shush in Style Again!

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Oh look, another “A Quiet Place” sequel is coming because apparently, the world just can’t get enough of people tiptoeing…

Events

New Mexico House: Bringing the Heat (and Chiles) to SXSW 2026

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 16, 2026

**✨** New Mexico is invading Austin for SXSW 2025 with its own “House” activation. Because apparently one state house wasn’t…

Events

“Bridges Out of Poverty Workshop: Because Who Needs Roads Anyway?”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 15, 2026

Ready to escape poverty? Join our virtual workshop! 😏 This Bridges Out of Poverty training uses the magic lens of…

Events

“Dancehall vs Afrobeats: The Ultimate Beat Battle at Darna”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 15, 2026

**🕺🏿🔥 Dancehall vs Afrobeats: The Ultimate Beat Battle!** Get ready to shake your tail feathers! On **March 15, 2026, at…

Events

“Gubbulidis Goes Full Bardwell: The Epic Saga of a Dude Who Just Couldn’t Stop”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 15, 2026

Gubbulidis On sale Friday, December 19 at 10am // Member presale begins Thursday December 18 at 10am* Gubbulidis w/ Jesse…

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Latest posts

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  • Because Hackers Love Homework Too Let’s Strengthen K-12 Cybersecurity Already
  • Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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