Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Keyboard

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Roasts His Ex-Singers for Turning His Brand Into a Karaoke Cash Grab
Breaking

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Roasts His Ex-Singers for Turning His Brand Into a Karaoke Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Yngwie Malmsteen Has Had It With These “Hired Vocalists” Who Think They’re Co-Owners of His Brand (Spoiler: They’re Not) 🎸🔥…

Sad Foos Drops Same Old Funky Nostalgia Mix Like It’s a Musical Time Loop
Live

Sad Foos Drops Same Old Funky Nostalgia Mix Like It’s a Musical Time Loop

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Sadfoos Boogie Promises Not to Spill Champagne on Your Keyboard—Reservations Still Available! 🚨 🎭 VIP bottle service? Yes, Karen,…

Bullet For My Valentine’s Michael ‘Padge’ Paget Says Their Next Album Is ‘Very Important’ And Also Not A Concept Album About Tax Evasion
Breaking, Music News

Bullet For My Valentine’s Michael ‘Padge’ Paget Says Their Next Album Is ‘Very Important’ And Also Not A Concept Album About Tax Evasion

Chord F. DiscordDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

🎸 In a shocking turn of events that NO ONE saw coming (except literally everyone with ears and an internet…

GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison
Live, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: GUNS N’ ROSES 2026 TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED 🚨: AXL ROSE TO UNITE THE NATIONS WITH A LINEUP THAT…

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
🚨 BREAKING: Disney Just Sold Its Soul to OpenAI for $1 Billion and a High-Five from Sam Altman 🙌💸
Breaking, Movie News

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)
Breaking, Music News

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Move Over, Santa! Steve Perry Is Coming To Town With A Holiday Auction That’ll Make You Sell Your Soul (And…

Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about…

HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi
Breaking, Music News

HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 🎃 Seems like those geriatric German power metallers 🤘 from HELLOWEEN 🧙‍♀️ have had to CANCEL their eagerly (not…

Saint Etienne Finally Bother to Say Goodbye (Probably) to UK and Ireland
Live, Music News

Saint Etienne Finally Bother to Say Goodbye (Probably) to UK and Ireland

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

So, Saint Etienne, those indie-pop relics, are finally crawling out of whatever retirement home they’ve been festering in to announce…

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

LOL! GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, apparently think we care enough to watch 500 drones buzz around like confused…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 6 Next

Latest posts

  • David Byrne Unveils Ultimate Biking Playlist
  • Canadian Metal Band Turns Hospital Into Rock Venue For Ailing Fan
  • Congressional Candidate’s Abuse Allegations Totally Not A Red Flag Apparently
  • Shatner to Perform at Coachella at 95 in 2027
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 2 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}