Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Law and Order

18-Year-Old High School “Senior” Turns Subway Car into BBQ Pit, Charged with Arson, Passengers Complained About Lack of Marinade
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

18-Year-Old High School “Senior” Turns Subway Car into BBQ Pit, Charged with Arson, Passengers Complained About Lack of Marinade

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist running amok in our once-great cities! They are destroying America, one subway arson at a…

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another snowflake meltdown! The White House, in its infinite wisdom, used some bubblegum pop song in a video…

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another feel-good story courtesy of the liberal loony bin. A woman, coddled by our “justice”…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Two activist judges, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, have decided they know better than President Trump when it…

Border Patrol Finally Leaves Charlotte, Area’s 3 Cows Breathe Sigh of Relief
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Border Patrol Finally Leaves Charlotte, Area’s 3 Cows Breathe Sigh of Relief

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation as…

CNN Reports: Despite MAGA Tears, US Latino Population Still Partying and Growing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Reports: Despite MAGA Tears, US Latino Population Still Partying and Growing

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! This time, they’re pushing the narrative that Latino identity is at a “turning point”…

Judge Doodles Over Hilarious Attempt to Stop West Virginia National Guard from Visiting DC’s Exciting Tourist Traps
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Doodles Over Hilarious Attempt to Stop West Virginia National Guard from Visiting DC’s Exciting Tourist Traps

Big ElephantNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Another day, another frivolous lawsuit from the radical Left! West Virginia’s National Guard is bravely assisting President Trump in securing…

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Supreme Court to Hear Case of Rastafarian Forced to Shave Dreadlocks – Another Attempt to Undermine Law Enforcement? **Here we…

Jeanine Pirro, Top DC Prosecutor, Saves FBI Agents from Unemployment Line, Because Apparently, Even the FBI Needs a Helping Hand These Days
Elephant Reads CNN

Jeanine Pirro, Top DC Prosecutor, Saves FBI Agents from Unemployment Line, Because Apparently, Even the FBI Needs a Helping Hand These Days

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

JEANINE PIRRO SAVES FBI AGENTS FROM DEEP STATE PURGE! You won’t BELIEVE what happened! Our fearless US Attorney Jeanine Pirro,…

‘Border Patrol Officer Gets Sandwiched Between a Rock and a Hard Lunch in DC, Claims Onion Breath’
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Border Patrol Officer Gets Sandwiched Between a Rock and a Hard Lunch in DC, Claims Onion Breath’

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another snowflake meltdown in our nation’s capital. This time, it’s a “resistance” fighter using a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: ICE Withholds Ilhan Omar Fraud Probe Records Citing Ongoing Proceedings
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump boasts strong endorsements and loyal candidates
  • Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
  • L’AGENCE Finally Decides to Make Clothes That Won’t Get You Kicked Out of the Country Club for Looking Like a Total Slob On the Tennis Court
  • Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.