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Events

Get Ready to Pay to Learn How to Be Happy and Fake a Smile with Positive Psychology Coaching

Chuck B. BallsyJune 1, 2026

Live experience on Monday, 1 June, 7:00 PM EDT πŸ•°οΈ πŸ€” Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the…

Events

World Saving Careers Now Available for People Who Still Live in Their Parents Basement and Want to Save the Planet

Chuck B. BallsyJune 1, 2026

Frequently asked questions πŸ€” How will the event be hosted? πŸ“Š Do I need a Microsoft Teams account to join?…

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway

FinnMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Suddenly, movie theaters are cool again, and we’re not talking about the kind of cool where your grandma thinks they’re…

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

So, you want to know about Alice Cooper’s thoughts on AI in music? Well, buckle up, folks, because the Godfather…

When the bassist insists on doing vocals too 🎀
Videos

When the bassist insists on doing vocals too 🎀

Chuck B. BallsyMay 31, 2026

"Trust me bro, I can sing." Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan…

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening

Big ElephantMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh joy, folks, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, and our amazing President Donald Trump is still…

The Silence of the Rock Bartender πŸ’€
Videos

The Silence of the Rock Bartender πŸ’€

Chuck B. BallsyMay 30, 2026

Every rock bar has THAT bartender. πŸ’€πŸ€˜ Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe…

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! β˜”πŸ€˜
Videos

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! β˜”πŸ€˜

Chuck B. BallsyMay 30, 2026

Baltimore tried its best to drown us, but Maryland Deathfest 2026 was worth every soaked sock. πŸ’€ Here's our 2.5-minute…

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🀩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really πŸ€”. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

POV: Jonathan Davis finally got your number πŸ“žπŸ’€
Videos

POV: Jonathan Davis finally got your number πŸ“žπŸ’€

Chuck B. BallsyMay 29, 2026

RATATATATATATATATATA Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed…

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Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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