Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Longform

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters
Breaking, Movie News

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The Minions Have Conquered the Box Office, But Can They Conquer Our Hearts (And Also, Do They Have Genitals?) Well,…

All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
Breaking, Movie News

All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying

FinnJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

I’ve never been the biggest fan of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, and honestly, who can blame me? They’re like the…

Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
The Backrooms: Because Who Needs a Plot Anyway? 🤣
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending

FinnMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

Let’s dive into the world of Backrooms, a movie that’s all about mystery and confusion 🤔. I mean, who needs…

Apparently Some 20 Year Old Genius Totally Didn’t Steal the Idea for ‘Backrooms’ from Their Weird Uncle’s Reddit Posts
Breaking, Movie News

Apparently Some 20 Year Old Genius Totally Didn’t Steal the Idea for ‘Backrooms’ from Their Weird Uncle’s Reddit Posts

FinnMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

The hottest new movie of the summer is here, and it’s not just the temperature outside that’s making everyone sweat…

A Totally Not At All Biased Kid Who Definitely Didn’t Have His Parents Write This Review Totally Roasts The Mandalorian and Grogu Because Lets Be Real Its Just a Bunch of Nerds in Space Suits
Breaking, Movie News

A Totally Not At All Biased Kid Who Definitely Didn’t Have His Parents Write This Review Totally Roasts The Mandalorian and Grogu Because Lets Be Real Its Just a Bunch of Nerds in Space Suits

FinnMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic review of The Mandalorian and Grogu ever? 🤣 I took…

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
Breaking, Movie News

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk

FinnMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… 🚀👽 a man named George Lucas created a film called…

We Sacrificed Our Taste Buds to the Dark Lord of Overhyped Candy and Checked Out Those Ridiculously Overpriced Harry Potter Butterbeer Peeps
Breaking, Movie News

We Sacrificed Our Taste Buds to the Dark Lord of Overhyped Candy and Checked Out Those Ridiculously Overpriced Harry Potter Butterbeer Peeps

FinnApril 6, 2026April 6, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat today! I’m about to review the most epic, the most legendary,…

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
Why Willy Wonka Is Secretly a Slasher Movie
Breaking, Movie News

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…

The Ghostface Sequels That Vanished Into the Woodsboro Abyss: A Chronicle of Screams That Never Screamed
The Scream Franchise: A Graveyard of Dead Scripts and Broken Dreams
Breaking, Movie News

The Ghostface Sequels That Vanished Into the Woodsboro Abyss: A Chronicle of Screams That Never Screamed

FinnFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

Let’s talk about the *Scream* franchise—a series that started as a clever, self-aware critique of slasher tropes and has since…

Watch the Batman Begins Cast Make Goofy Noises for the Video Game While Wearing Pajamas
Why the Batman Begins Game Didn't Save the World
Breaking, Games News

Watch the Batman Begins Cast Make Goofy Noises for the Video Game While Wearing Pajamas

FinnFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

In the annals of Batman video game history, one truth reigns supreme: the Arkham series is the Dark Knight of…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump vows to restore White House to former glory
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump slams Dumocrats as loud and lost
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims America will never go communist
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims landslide presidential election win despite bad press

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}