We Sacrificed Our Taste Buds to the Dark Lord of Overhyped Candy and Checked Out Those Ridiculously Overpriced Harry Potter Butterbeer Peeps
Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat today! I’m about to review the most epic, the most legendary,…
Tag: Longform
‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…
The Ghostface Sequels That Vanished Into the Woodsboro Abyss: A Chronicle of Screams That Never Screamed
Let’s talk about the *Scream* franchise—a series that started as a clever, self-aware critique of slasher tropes and has since…
Watch the Batman Begins Cast Make Goofy Noises for the Video Game While Wearing Pajamas
In the annals of Batman video game history, one truth reigns supreme: the Arkham series is the Dark Knight of…
Man Breaks World Record for Most Times Riding Disneyland’s ‘Cars’ Ride, Probably Needs a New Hobby
Oh, look at Mr. Big Shot, Jon Hale of Brea, California. This guy has ridden Radiator Springs Racers more times…
Hollywood, Please Bring Back Making-Of Documentaries (So We Can See How Much Better It Was Before the CGI Overkill)
Marvel has officially entered its “Plotting the Void” era, and honestly, it’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it…
The Old ‘Street Fighter’ Movie Is Actually Good
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: A 14-Year-Old’s Birthday Trauma Exposed in Shocking 1994 ‘Street Fighter’ Film Review 🎂💥 So there I was,…
Movie Theaters: Still Not Obsolete (Despite Streaming)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because your friendly neighborhood film “critic” is about to drop some truth bombs 💣 about why…
‘Superman’ Broadway Musical: More Like ‘SuperFAIL’
Behold! The most cringe-worthy, face-palming, “what were they thinking?” piece of superhero media ever to disgrace the silver screen… or…
Netflix Vomits Out Another “Best” Animated Movie (Yeah, Right)
Okay, so apparently it’s been a real snoozefest for animated movies this year 😴. I mean, who even cares about…