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Tag: Mark Hamill

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
Breaking, Movie News

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk

FinnMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… 🚀👽 a man named George Lucas created a film called…

Mark Hamill thinks he’s relevant, how cute
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mark Hamill thinks he’s relevant, how cute

Big ElephantApril 7, 2026April 7, 2026

Wow, can you believe the absolute nonsense that the fake news media is spewing out now? With our great leader,…

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff

FinnDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Hold onto your mouse ears, folks — Disney just sold its soul to the AI devil for a measly $1…

Mark Hamill Initially Mistook ‘Star Wars’ Script for Hilarious Fan Fiction
Breaking, Movie News

Mark Hamill Initially Mistook ‘Star Wars’ Script for Hilarious Fan Fiction

FinnAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Mark Hamill, bless his heart ❤️, thought *Star Wars* was a *Flash Gordon* parody? Seriously? Dude was probably…

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
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