5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward
🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers Sequels Are Basically Just the Same Movie, But With More Explosions (And Less Logic) 🚨 Ah,…
Tag: metal
JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…
Buried Asunder in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Psychedelic Black Metal from Rock Hill, SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…
Quiet Exit in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Metal from Seattle… no from Rock Hill, SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…
Orchiiidsss in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Gothic Punk from upper SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…
ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…
The Original X-Men Crash the Avengers: Doomsday Party and Bring a Demolished X-Mansion as a Housewarming Gift
🚨 BREAKING: The Avengers Have Officially Run Out of New Ideas and Are Now Recycling Their Parents’ Old Costumes 🚨…
Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️♀️ In…
Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…
SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…