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Tag: metal

X-Men crash Avengers: Doomsday like that awkward family reunion you never wanted
Breaking, Movie News

X-Men crash Avengers: Doomsday like that awkward family reunion you never wanted

FinnJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Marvel has officially released the X-Men teaser for Avengers: Doomsday, and honestly, the only thing more chaotic than the plot…

5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward
Breaking, Movie News

5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward

FinnJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers Sequels Are Basically Just the Same Movie, But With More Explosions (And Less Logic) 🚨 Ah,…

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
Breaking, Music News

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…

Buried Asunder in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Videos

Buried Asunder in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 7, 2026

Psychedelic Black Metal from Rock Hill, SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Quiet Exit in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Videos

Quiet Exit in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 7, 2026

Metal from Seattle… no from Rock Hill, SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

Orchiiidsss in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)
Videos

Orchiiidsss in Charlotte, NC (01/06/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 7, 2026

Gothic Punk from upper SC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
Breaking, Music News

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…

The Original X-Men Crash the Avengers: Doomsday Party and Bring a Demolished X-Mansion as a Housewarming Gift
Breaking, Movie News

The Original X-Men Crash the Avengers: Doomsday Party and Bring a Demolished X-Mansion as a Housewarming Gift

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Avengers Have Officially Run Out of New Ideas and Are Now Recycling Their Parents’ Old Costumes 🚨…

Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
Breaking, Music News

Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️‍♀️ In…

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Breaking, Music News

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…

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