Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metalheads

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘
Videos

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘

Chuck B. BallsyMay 30, 2026

Baltimore tried its best to drown us, but Maryland Deathfest 2026 was worth every soaked sock. 💀 Here's our 2.5-minute…

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🤩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really 🤔. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet
Breaking News: STRYPER Returns with New Single, and Honestly, We're Not Sure If We're Alright or Okay with It 🤔
Breaking, Music News

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

The legendary Christian metal band STRYPER has just released a new single, “I’m Alright (I’m Okay)”, and we’re still trying…

🌿 Metal Detox Live | 🎸 Dark Country Radio & Relaxing Pond Stream 24/7
Videos

🌿 Metal Detox Live | 🎸 Dark Country Radio & Relaxing Pond Stream 24/7

Chuck B. BallsyMay 26, 2026

Too much metal? Same. Welcome to Metal Detox Live: 🌿 relaxing pond views 🎸 dark country radio 🌧 atmospheric weather…

🌿 Pond Cam for Metalheads | Nature Recovery Stream 24/7
Videos

🌿 Pond Cam for Metalheads | Nature Recovery Stream 24/7

Chuck B. BallsyMay 25, 2026

Too much metal? Same. Welcome to the peaceful side of Jackal Today: 🌿 ducks 🌧 weather 🐸 questionable wildlife activity…

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀
Videos

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀

Chuck B. BallsyMay 18, 2026

Ibuprofen. Knee braces. Battle jackets. We ride at dusk. 🤘 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

Death Angel Proved Getting Old Is for Anthrax: Live in Charlotte 🤘🔥
Videos

Death Angel Proved Getting Old Is for Anthrax: Live in Charlotte 🤘🔥

Chuck B. BallsyMay 11, 2026

Death Angel rolled into The Underground on May 10th and delivered one of those shows that makes you wonder how…

BREAKING: Metallica Suddenly Remembers They’re Old And Play Very Greek Song To Confused Fans In Athens
Breaking News: Metallica Still Exists and People Still Care 🤯
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Metallica Suddenly Remembers They’re Old And Play Very Greek Song To Confused Fans In Athens

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

The legendary metal band Metallica kicked off their 2026 leg of the “M72” world tour in Athens, Greece, and we’re…

OMG You Won’t Believe Who’s Banging Away on Drums for ACCEPT Now It’s None Other Than Ex-MEGADETH Superstar SHAWN DROVER Who Clearly Ran Out of Other Bands to Play For
Get ready for some face-melting, ear-shattering, and jaw-dropping news, metalheads! 🤯🎸🔥
Breaking, Music News

OMG You Won’t Believe Who’s Banging Away on Drums for ACCEPT Now It’s None Other Than Ex-MEGADETH Superstar SHAWN DROVER Who Clearly Ran Out of Other Bands to Play For

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

The one and only Shawn Drover, former drummer of MEGADETH, has joined forces with the legendary ACCEPT as a “special…

DYING FETUS is Still Alive Somehow and Dragging SANGUISUGABOGG and CROWBAR on Their Geriatric Fall 2026 Tour
Breaking, Events, Music News

DYING FETUS is Still Alive Somehow and Dragging SANGUISUGABOGG and CROWBAR on Their Geriatric Fall 2026 Tour

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2026April 29, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, ear-shattering, and face-melting tour of the year, folks! 🤘🏻💥 DYING FETUS and SANGUISUGABOGG are…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • How to Deal with Your Kid’s Over the Top Public Displays of Affection Without Losing Your Mind
  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE DROPS BOMBSHELL TRUMP CONQUERS LATIN AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}