Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metalheads

Primus recruits Death Angel vocalist because why not
Breaking, Music News

Primus recruits Death Angel vocalist because why not

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2026August 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I just found out that Mark Osegueda, the vocalist…

Anthrax fires Joey Belladonna because of course they did
Breaking, Music News

Anthrax fires Joey Belladonna because of course they did

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2026August 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some drama? 🤯 Because I’ve got a scoop that’s gonna make your head…

MOONSPELL’s FERNANDO RIBEIRO Still Pretending Success Is A Shock
Breaking, Music News

MOONSPELL’s FERNANDO RIBEIRO Still Pretending Success Is A Shock

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super deep and insightful quotes from Fernando Ribeiro, the vocalist of MOONSPELL?…

SKATEBOARD MARKETING Still Somehow Employing People After 35 Years
Breaking, Music News

SKATEBOARD MARKETING Still Somehow Employing People After 35 Years

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so excited to share this news with you all.…

VOIVOD Documentary Finally Happening Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better To Ask For
Breaking, Music News

VOIVOD Documentary Finally Happening Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better To Ask For

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2026August 11, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some exciting news? 🤩 I can barely contain my enthusiasm… 🙄 VOIVOD’s drummer and…

NERGAL Still Playing Same Old Songs In 2026 Because You Clearly Haven’t Moved On
Breaking, Music News

NERGAL Still Playing Same Old Songs In 2026 Because You Clearly Haven’t Moved On

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2026August 10, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture! The metal gods have finally answered our prayers and bestowed upon us a live project featuring…

LEFT TO DIE Butchers Death Cover For Chuck Schuldiner’s Ghost
Breaking, Music News

LEFT TO DIE Butchers Death Cover For Chuck Schuldiner’s Ghost

Chord F. DiscordAugust 7, 2026August 7, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that has left metalheads reeling, the YouTube channel of the Considered Dead blog has…

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic collaboration of the century? 🤯 I mean, it’s not like…

Misery Index still exists apparently someone cared enough for new song Feral Future
Breaking, Music News

Misery Index still exists apparently someone cared enough for new song Feral Future

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2026July 21, 2026

Oh boy, you guys, the wait is finally over! MISERY INDEX has released a new single, “Feral Future”, and I’m…

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough
Breaking, Music News

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my favorite black metal t-shirt, and it’s not even like I’m surprised. I…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Pete Buttigieg Tries Again With Black Voters In South Carolina
  • Bret Michaels Scraps Tour Dates Amid Recovery from Recent Surgeries
  • Bipartisan Magic Happens Kushner And Jeffries Talk Nice
  • Juggalos Gathering Yields Mass Drug Bust And Multiple Arrests Made
  • National Debt Reaches Cool $40 Trillion Milestone

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.