Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metalheads

Metalheads Suddenly Care About Song Titles Again Thanks To Strike and Kill
Breaking, Music News

Metalheads Suddenly Care About Song Titles Again Thanks To Strike and Kill

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious face-melting? Because Dez Fafara and the gang are back with a…

Rick Rozz Still Alive Apparently Releasing Music With Terry Butler In Left To Die
Breaking, Music News

Rick Rozz Still Alive Apparently Releasing Music With Terry Butler In Left To Die

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some nostalgia-filled, face-melting, and potentially soul-crushing news? 🤯 Because I’m about to drop…

Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet
Jackal Research Division Confirms Every Band Has Released Its Heaviest Album Yet
Jackal Research Division

Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet

Milton TruthwellJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #005 After reviewing more than 53,000 interviews with musicians spanning five decades, the Jackal Research Division…

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘
Videos

Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘

Chuck B. BallsyMay 30, 2026

Baltimore tried its best to drown us, but Maryland Deathfest 2026 was worth every soaked sock. 💀 Here's our 2.5-minute…

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🤩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really 🤔. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet
Breaking News: STRYPER Returns with New Single, and Honestly, We're Not Sure If We're Alright or Okay with It 🤔
Breaking, Music News

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

The legendary Christian metal band STRYPER has just released a new single, “I’m Alright (I’m Okay)”, and we’re still trying…

🌿 Metal Detox Live | 🎸 Dark Country Radio & Relaxing Pond Stream 24/7
Videos

🌿 Metal Detox Live | 🎸 Dark Country Radio & Relaxing Pond Stream 24/7

Chuck B. BallsyMay 26, 2026

Too much metal? Same. Welcome to Metal Detox Live: 🌿 relaxing pond views 🎸 dark country radio 🌧 atmospheric weather…

🌿 Pond Cam for Metalheads | Nature Recovery Stream 24/7
Videos

🌿 Pond Cam for Metalheads | Nature Recovery Stream 24/7

Chuck B. BallsyMay 25, 2026

Too much metal? Same. Welcome to the peaceful side of Jackal Today: 🌿 ducks 🌧 weather 🐸 questionable wildlife activity…

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀
Videos

Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀

Chuck B. BallsyMay 18, 2026

Ibuprofen. Knee braces. Battle jackets. We ride at dusk. 🤘 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

Death Angel Proved Getting Old Is for Anthrax: Live in Charlotte 🤘🔥
Videos

Death Angel Proved Getting Old Is for Anthrax: Live in Charlotte 🤘🔥

Chuck B. BallsyMay 11, 2026

Death Angel rolled into The Underground on May 10th and delivered one of those shows that makes you wonder how…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Pete Buttigieg Tries Again With Black Voters In South Carolina
  • Bret Michaels Scraps Tour Dates Amid Recovery from Recent Surgeries
  • Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time
  • DIMMU BORGIR Still Exists Because They Clearly Hate Their Families
  • Bipartisan Magic Happens Kushner And Jeffries Talk Nice

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.