Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷♂️),…
Tag: movie
Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year
Mortal Kombat, or as I like to call it, “Flop Kombat,” caused such a disparity between audiences and critics that…
‘HERSHEY’ Movie Adds More Celebs as Pennsylvania Transforms into Chocolate Wonderland
**OMG! 😱 The chocolate overlords at Hershey, AKA the Illuminati of cocoa, just snagged even MORE “star power” for their…
Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
**OMG! 😱 Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…
Mississippi Town With No Movie Theater To Screen Movie About Sinners, What Could Go Wrong
So, apparently, it’s “official”! 🎉 As if anyone actually cares, but whatever. The elite filmmakers are gracing Clarksdale, Mississippi with…
Elden Ring Movie: Because the Game Wasn’t Confusing Enough
Oh, great, another video game movie. 🙄 Because Hollywood hasn’t butchered enough beloved franchises already. Apparently, A24 thinks they can…
Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…
Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…
Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…
Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…