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Tag: movies

Movie Review: ‘Mountainhead’ – Jesse Armstrong’s Tech Bro-pocalypse: You’ll Wish You Were Watching ‘Succession’
Breaking

Movie Review: ‘Mountainhead’ – Jesse Armstrong’s Tech Bro-pocalypse: You’ll Wish You Were Watching ‘Succession’

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Oh, sweet, merciful Bezos! 🙏 The “Succession” guy, Jesse Armstrong, is back at it again, bless his little heart. He’s…

Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Breaking

Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷‍♂️),…

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
Breaking

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Breaking

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Breaking

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’
Breaking

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’

FinnMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the cinematic dumpster fire that is…*drumroll*…’Practical Magic 2′! 🧙‍♀️🔮…

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!
Breaking

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe-ity. Those “epic” Avengers movies, Doomsday and Secret Wars, have been…

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
Breaking

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 24, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……

Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably
Breaking

Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably

FinnMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! Greta Gerwig, fresh off her *Barbie* success (because apparently, that’s the only thing she’s ever done now), is apparently…

Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed
Breaking

Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed

FinnMay 20, 2025May 21, 2025

Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is STILL trying to make a ‘Gears of War’ movie happen. 🙄…

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