Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷♂️),…
Tag: movies
Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
**OMG! 😱 Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…
Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…
Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…
Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the cinematic dumpster fire that is…*drumroll*…’Practical Magic 2′! 🧙♀️🔮…
Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!
Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe-ity. Those “epic” Avengers movies, Doomsday and Secret Wars, have been…
OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……
Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably
OMG! Greta Gerwig, fresh off her *Barbie* success (because apparently, that’s the only thing she’s ever done now), is apparently…
Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed
Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is STILL trying to make a ‘Gears of War’ movie happen. 🙄…