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Tag: Music

LA’s Afrobeats New Year’s Eve Bash: Where the Dance Moves Are as Official as Your Tax Forms
Events

LA’s Afrobeats New Year’s Eve Bash: Where the Dance Moves Are as Official as Your Tax Forms

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 20, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS: AFRICAN DANCE MUSIC WILL INVINCIBLY DESCEND UPON LA LIKE A COOL AUNT AT A FAMILY REUNION 🚨…

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Breaking, Music News

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…

Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson Get Into a Gladiatorial Spat Over Who Gets to Wear the MAGA Crown
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson Get Into a Gladiatorial Spat Over Who Gets to Wear the MAGA Crown

Big ElephantDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Leftists, Globalists, and Grifters Unite: TPUSA’s AmericaFest Becomes MAGA Soap Opera After Kirk’s Assassination PHOENIX — In a nation still…

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies
Breaking, Movie News

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies

FinnDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: A HOLIDAY MOVIE LIST FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE A SOUL (OR AT LEAST A SENSE OF HUMOR)…

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks
Breaking, Music News

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Ghost’s Skele-Bot Delivers More Than Just Riffs in Inglewood Charity Stunt 🤖🍎 In a move that’s equal parts charitable and…

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code
Breaking, Music News

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Carla Harvey, the Queen of Dramatic Entrances and Exit Strategies, has officially traded screaming into a microphone for screaming into…

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Behemoth’s Nergal Just Dropped a Truth Bomb So Big, It Summoned a Demon From Target 🤯🔥 In a shocking turn…

The Rise of Regional Game Studios as Global Competitors: From Basement Coders to Billion-Dollar Bullies
Breaking, Games News

The Rise of Regional Game Studios as Global Competitors: From Basement Coders to Billion-Dollar Bullies

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Move over, Silicon Valley hipsters with your $12 avocado toast and kombucha obsessions—there’s a new sheriff in town, and they…

Loe Shimmy’s Garden Groove: Plants Beware, Welcome Week’s Here
Events

Loe Shimmy’s Garden Groove: Plants Beware, Welcome Week’s Here

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 18, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Local Band LOE SHIMMY to Bless Garden with Live Music During Spring Welcome Week (Yes, Spring… in January)…

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube
Breaking, Movie News

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck that is…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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