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Crowds Still Pretty Bad at This Whole Voting Thing Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Crowds Still Pretty Bad at This Whole Voting Thing Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, let me tell you, reading about these recent primaries has been a wild ride. Two successive weeks of primaries…

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A woman in Northern Virginia got into a confrontation with Immigration…

KAMELOT’s THOMAS YOUNGBLOOD Finally Admits They’re Too Old For This
Breaking, Music News

KAMELOT’s THOMAS YOUNGBLOOD Finally Admits They’re Too Old For This

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 KAMELOT’s guitarist Thomas Youngblood just spilled the beans on…

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes
Breaking, Movie News

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

It’s official: the Barbie sequel that was all but guaranteed after the first film’s massive $1.4 billion haul in 2023…

SPLC CFO Embroiled in Scandal Not Related to Their Budget Reports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

SPLC CFO Embroiled in Scandal Not Related to Their Budget Reports

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest scandal involving the Southern Poverty Law Center, and folks, it’s a…

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the drama surrounding Paramount’s deal to buy Warner…

Chad Gray Embarks On Desperate Cry For Attention With Solo Tour
Breaking, Music News

Chad Gray Embarks On Desperate Cry For Attention With Solo Tour

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Chad Gray, the legendary vocalist of MUDVAYNE and HELLYEAH, has announced a solo tour…

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again
Breaking, Music News

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another deluxe edition, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. Giorgio Moroder,…

Because You Clearly Need More Debt
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Because You Clearly Need More Debt

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Powerball jackpot, which has now reached an estimated $1 billion after…

Oil Flowing Normally Again Except When It’s Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oil Flowing Normally Again Except When It’s Not

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Energy Secretary Chris Wright’s latest claim that oil exports from the Middle…

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