Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Rap

Timothée Chalamet Finally Admits He’s Secretly Dropping Grime Bangers as EsDeeKid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Timothée Chalamet Finally Admits He’s Secretly Dropping Grime Bangers as EsDeeKid

Big ElephantDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Timothée Chalamet is feeding speculation that he could be the anonymous British rapper EsDeeKid. Various rumors surround the identity of…

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!
Breaking, Music News

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

GOJIRA, those Frenchie prog-metallers who think they’re saving the planet one chug at a time, apparently kicked off a tour…

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive is doing this December! They’re, like, TOTALLY selling out by shoving global…

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Operation Charlotte’s Web”: Finally, Someone’s Using Children’s Lit the RIGHT Way! While liberals cry about “raid” tactics (boo hoo!), President…

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026
Live, Music News

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Download Festival is back in 2026 as DLXXIII, because apparently, we’re all still alive and kicking… or at…

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Sid Wilson, the guy who mashes buttons in SLIPKNOT (yeah, that band your mom hates 👵), has launched Vomit Face…

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)
Breaking, Music News

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a…

Fist Up Film Fest: They’re REALLY Trying to Ban Rap (Again)
Live

Fist Up Film Fest: They’re REALLY Trying to Ban Rap (Again)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 29, 2025

**OMG! 16th Annual Fist Up Film Fest 2025 at La Peña Cultural Center! 🙄 Doors open 6:30 PM for “As…

Adam Calhoun’s AmerACAL2 Tour: Prepare for the MAGA Meltdown at DECCA LIVE
Live

Adam Calhoun’s AmerACAL2 Tour: Prepare for the MAGA Meltdown at DECCA LIVE

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 29, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Adam Calhoun, a “dynamic force” 🤣 in country rap 🤮, will be gracing DECCA LIVE on October 5th!…

Tom Keifer Reveals the Mind-Blowing Secret to Success: Simply Refuse to Quit
Breaking, Music News

Tom Keifer Reveals the Mind-Blowing Secret to Success: Simply Refuse to Quit

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Deanne Coffin (who???), CINDERELLA frontman Tom Keifer, now rebranded as a solo act…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 8 Next

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.