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Tag: Rap

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…

🎤 HED PE in Gastonia: From Renegade to Retirement 🦴
Videos

🎤 HED PE in Gastonia: From Renegade to Retirement 🦴

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 15, 2025

📅 July 14, Gastonia, North Carolina — once cult (in the “I think I heard of them” sense), Hed PE…

Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant
Breaking, Music News

Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG! 😱 Hopeless Records, like, totally bought Fat Wreck Chords! Is this the end of punk as we know it?…

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, folks! This time, it’s about Jermaine Thomas, a “poor” fella deported to Jamaica.…

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! CLAWFINGER, those geriatric Swedish rap-metal dudes, just dropped a music video for their new single, “Scum”. 🙄 Apparently, it’s…

CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)
Breaking, Movie News

CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 Those geriatric Swedes in CLAWFINGER, yes, the ones your dad used to listen to while wearing JNCO jeans👖,…

LINKIN PARK Cancels Bern Concert Because Someone Has A Boo-Boo
Breaking, Music News

LINKIN PARK Cancels Bern Concert Because Someone Has A Boo-Boo

Chord F. DiscordJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

LINKIN PARK, those lovable purveyors of mid-2000s angst, have apparently pulled the plug on their Bern, Switzerland show tonight (Friday,…

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max
Breaking

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max

FinnJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Oh. My. God. 🙄 Did you HEAR about “A Minecraft Movie” 🎬? Apparently, it CAUSES RIOTS. Like, actual, popcorn-throwing, “chicken…

Burton C. Bell Admits He’s Allergic to Albums, Prefers Lonely Singles Instead
Breaking

Burton C. Bell Admits He’s Allergic to Albums, Prefers Lonely Singles Instead

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream about robots and industrial nightmares, but now screams about…well, himself,…

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
Breaking

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…

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