Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Republicans

Job So Boring Even AI Would Rather Be Terminated Than Do It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Job So Boring Even AI Would Rather Be Terminated Than Do It

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

AI WILL STEAL YOUR JOBS AND TAKE OVER AMERICA! CNN wants you to believe AI in radiology is just a…

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh look, the swamp is draining itself – but only because the snakes are finally turning on each other! Republican…

Spy Chief Gabbard Hooks Trump Up with FBI Agents Who Raided Election Office—Because Who Needs a Filter?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spy Chief Gabbard Hooks Trump Up with FBI Agents Who Raided Election Office—Because Who Needs a Filter?

Big ElephantFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

President Trump Shows Leadership by Speaking Directly with FBI Agents in Georgia Election Probe In a stunning display of hands-on…

Finally, DHS in Minneapolis Gets Body Cameras—Because Nothing Says ‘Trust’ Like Surveillance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally, DHS in Minneapolis Gets Body Cameras—Because Nothing Says ‘Trust’ Like Surveillance

Big ElephantFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Breaking: Trump DHS Finally Embraces Body Cams—Guess the Swamp Rats Were Getting Nervous! Well, well, well—looks like even the swamp…

Why a Texas State Senate Race Win by Democrats Is Apparently the Second Coming of the Messiah, According to CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why a Texas State Senate Race Win by Democrats Is Apparently the Second Coming of the Messiah, According to CNN Politics

Big ElephantFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Democrat Stuns GOP in Texas, Proving Trump’s Magic Touch Is Fading Faster Than His Hair Dye The liberal media is…

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Minneapolis Just Showed Trump What Real Resistance Looks Like Well, well, well, looks like the liberal snowflakes in Minneapolis just…

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Well folks, looks like the Big Beautiful Wall just got a little shorter – and not from any construction delays!…

Sen. Padilla: ‘How many more citizens need to die’ for GOP to finally grow a spine and tell Trump, ‘No more playing dictator with DHS!’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Padilla: ‘How many more citizens need to die’ for GOP to finally grow a spine and tell Trump, ‘No more playing dictator with DHS!’

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, another whiny Democrat who thinks ICE is the problem instead of the actual criminals invading our country! Senator…

Democrats demand major overhaul to ICE, as government shutdown risk skyrockets
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats demand major overhaul to ICE, as government shutdown risk skyrockets

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Democrats Play Chicken with Government Shutdown, Again In a stunning display of partisan brinksmanship, Congressional Democrats are threatening to shut…

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Washington is once again staring down the barrel of a government shutdown—and this time, it’s the Democrats’ fault. With Senate…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 18 Next

Latest posts

  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them
  • Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
  • BEARTOOTH Finally Decides to Release Actual Bulls*** From Their Super Original and Not at All Overhyped ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Album That Will Definitely Change the Face of Music Forever
  • SKUNK ANANSIE Still Trying to be Relevant Releases Super Original Not at All a Cry for Help New Take On ‘Meltdown’ With ‘Blackhill Remix’ That You’ll Definitely Listen to More Than Once

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}