Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Retirement

Starsailor rehashes Love Is Here for the umpteenth time apparently
Breaking, Music News

Starsailor rehashes Love Is Here for the umpteenth time apparently

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2026August 27, 2026

Well, it’s that time again, folks. Another anniversary, another deluxe edition, another chance for me to dust off my “I’m…

Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black again because you didn’t buy it enough times
Breaking, Music News

Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black again because you didn’t buy it enough times

Chord F. DiscordAugust 25, 2026August 25, 2026

To celebrate the 20th anniversary of Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black, UMR/Island will be reissuing the seminal album in a…

Millennials somehow adulting with better credit scores now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Millennials somehow adulting with better credit scores now

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Kelly Klein, who managed to pay off her $100,000 student loans in just…

National Debt Reaches Cool $40 Trillion Milestone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

National Debt Reaches Cool $40 Trillion Milestone

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

The US national debt has just topped a record $40 trillion, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this…

Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted
Breaking, Music News

Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2026August 22, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my Black Sabbath t-shirt πŸΊπŸ–€. Chris Slade, the legendary Welsh drummer who’s played…

Hollies Classic Lineup Ends As Last Two Members Retire
Live, Music News

Hollies Classic Lineup Ends As Last Two Members Retire

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 21, 2026

British Invasion act The Hollies officially called it quits on Thursday, August 20th, when lead guitarist Tony Hicks and drummer…

Fatboy Slim rehashes Better Living Through Chemistry because you didn’t buy it enough
Breaking, Music News

Fatboy Slim rehashes Better Living Through Chemistry because you didn’t buy it enough

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Well, well, well, it looks like another anniversary edition is upon us, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. Fatboy…

VA Secretary Loses Trust of White House and Republicans Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

VA Secretary Loses Trust of White House and Republicans Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the drama never ends in Washington, and this…

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again
Breaking, Music News

Oh joy, another Moroder anthology to milk the disco cow again

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another deluxe edition, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. Giorgio Moroder,…

Nikki Sixx Kills Music as We Know It
Breaking, Music News

Nikki Sixx Kills Music as We Know It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

In a shocking interview with Joann Butler In Studio With…, MΓ–TLEY CRÜE bassist and main songwriter Nikki Sixx dropped a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Taylor Swift Crashes Emmys Law And Order Sketch With Feline Friend
  • Pentagon Faces Slight Inconvenience From Iran War
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Karl Rove slammed as stone cold loser by Donald Trump Jr
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT predicts big November 3rd impact after sold out convention
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT says AI hoax mirrors Global Warming Scam

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.