Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Retirement

Dee Snider Calls Out Bands For Being Total Sellouts With Fake Reunions
Breaking, Music News

Dee Snider Calls Out Bands For Being Total Sellouts With Fake Reunions

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2026September 6, 2026

Oh boy, get ready for some hot takes from the one and only Dee Snider 🤯! The Twisted Sister frontman…

Anthrax honors thrash roots by playing song people actually like
Breaking, Music News

Anthrax honors thrash roots by playing song people actually like

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2026September 7, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🤯 I can barely contain my enthusiasm… Anthrax played a…

Pentagon Cans Journalists Because Accountability is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon Cans Journalists Because Accountability is Overrated

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the Pentagon and Stars and Stripes, and I’ve…

Pet Shop Boys back for another farewell not really
Breaking, Music News

Pet Shop Boys back for another farewell not really

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

Pet Shop Boys have announced A Man From The Future – a new eight-track album created in collaboration with Alan…

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Again

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The August jobs report is due out at 8:30 a.m. ET…

Simple Minds still not simple enough to quit touring
Breaking, Music News

Simple Minds still not simple enough to quit touring

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2026September 3, 2026

Well, well, well, it looks like Simple Minds are at it again, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. They’ve…

Another farewell to Donna Summer’s catalog, again, somehow, still
Breaking, Music News

Another farewell to Donna Summer’s catalog, again, somehow, still

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2026September 2, 2026

The music industry’s perpetual motion machine has churned out yet another deluxe edition, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion.…

Another farewell tour memento, the obligatory WIN NOW Yearbook seventy one
Breaking, Music News

Another farewell tour memento, the obligatory WIN NOW Yearbook seventy one

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2026September 2, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, the music industry is still churning out compilations, and I’m still writing about…

Paul Heaton somehow still touring and people are still buying it apparently
Breaking, Music News

Paul Heaton somehow still touring and people are still buying it apparently

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, Paul Heaton is back with a vengeance, scoring his first-ever solo No.1 album…

Tears For Fears rehashes The Seeds Of Love because why not again
Breaking, Music News

Tears For Fears rehashes The Seeds Of Love because why not again

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2026August 27, 2026

It’s time to dust off those old Tears For Fears albums, because the band has announced a reissue project for…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Pentagon Faces Slight Inconvenience From Iran War
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Karl Rove slammed as stone cold loser by Donald Trump Jr
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT predicts big November 3rd impact after sold out convention
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT says AI hoax mirrors Global Warming Scam
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 14 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.