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Tag: soul

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him
Breaking, Movie News

He-Man Flexes His Barely-Contained Pecs in a Nostalgia Grab So Desperate Even Skeletor Feels Bad for Him

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Oh goodie, another cinematic universe! Because what we truly, desperately needed in the year of our Lord 2024 was a…

Events

Ditch Your Family Traditions for These Corporate Lunar New Year Deals

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 22, 2026

Bring your wallet, but leave your soul-crushing boredom at home! 🐎💸 Thrive City is demanding you “Ring in the Year…

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
Breaking, Games News

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights
Breaking, Games News

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 Grab your popcorn and prepare your wallet for the “Are You Still Watching?” screen from hell, because Microsoft is…

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake
Breaking, Movie News

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Glen Powell has decided to make a literal killing because apparently, running from The Running Man or…

The 20 Netflix Movies That Will Finally Make Your Film Buff Friends Stop Silently Judging You
Breaking, Movie News

The 20 Netflix Movies That Will Finally Make Your Film Buff Friends Stop Silently Judging You

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the monumental, Herculean task of navigating Netflix’s “vast” library without immediately reaching…

Events

How to Prepare Your Startup to Get Rejected by VCs Who Are Waiting for Your Uber Slide

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 19, 2026

🚀 Free Online Event: Learn VC Secrets from Your Couch! 🛋️💡 Prepare your keyboard warriors for the ultimate online event…

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: BILLY IDOL HASN’T DIED YET, SO THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT 🚨 Evan Saxon Productions (who definitely…

The Damned to Release Covers Album Because God Forbid They Write a New Song, Lead Single is a June-Slaughtering Cover of ‘Summer In The City’
Breaking, Music News

The Damned to Release Covers Album Because God Forbid They Write a New Song, Lead Single is a June-Slaughtering Cover of ‘Summer In The City’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Hold onto your spiked leather jackets, kiddies, because the godfathers of British punk are officially dusting off the cobwebs, rebooting…

Events

“MLK Weekend Celebrated With ‘Pretty Brown Eyes’ R&B Dinner Where Soothing Love Ballads Clearly Honor The Legacy”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

Brace your taste buds and credit cards, peasants! 🤑 DSTRKT Events demands your presence at FRAICHE Restaurant on Sunday, January…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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