Breaking news from the warzone — the real battle isn’t against enemies on the map, but against mean words. Thanks to Activision’s genius implementation of AI moderation, players are now only allowed to express support for a carefully curated list of topics. Want to insult your squadmate for camping in a corner? Not today, toxic gamer! Now, you’ll be politely reminded by the AI that your only response is: «I stand with LGBT+ rights» 🌈. Problem solved. 🎉
The system is so effective that Activision eliminated all potential sources of toxicity — by banning every possible combination of letters, numbers, and symbols that could be used in an “offensive” manner. Think you can slip in a cheeky comment about your team’s terrible gameplay? Think again. Your only acceptable response is now: «I support the US Democratic Party and the 2024 DEI initiatives». Truly, a battlefield full of love, hugs, and political correctness. 🫂
As for the 80% of players who received warnings? It turns out the threat of being forced to watch three hours of diversity training videos was enough to make them reconsider their entire life choices. Thanks to Activision, we can now all enjoy a quiet, supportive, and completely non-toxic war environment, where the only thing more dangerous than enemy fire is getting a 30-day ban for saying «GG». 😬
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
