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Month: October 2024

🔥 Tolkien Fans Prefer Jackson’s Trilogy, Amazon Decides: Why Not Steal Scenes?
Movie News

🔥 Tolkien Fans Prefer Jackson’s Trilogy, Amazon Decides: Why Not Steal Scenes?

Finn McFrameOctober 19, 2024

Well, well, well — it looks like Amazon’s attempt to drag Middle-earth back into the limelight with «Rings of Power»…

Ubisoft to Striking Employees: Stay Home and Diversify Medieval Japan! 🤡
Games News

Ubisoft to Striking Employees: Stay Home and Diversify Medieval Japan! 🤡

Finn McFrameOctober 17, 2024October 17, 2024

In an epic display of 21st-century management genius, Ubisoft has cracked the code on how to «promote creativity and teamwork»…

🤯🎶Courtney Love + East 17: The Collab No One Asked For, But We’re Getting Anyway😂👀
Music News

🤯🎶Courtney Love + East 17: The Collab No One Asked For, But We’re Getting Anyway😂👀

Finn McFrameOctober 16, 2024October 17, 2024

In a twist of fate that absolutely no one saw coming — except maybe your aunt who still uses dial-up…

«Terrifier 3» Inspires Disney to Ditch Morals for Mayhem and Maniacs 👿🖤🎬
Movie News

«Terrifier 3» Inspires Disney to Ditch Morals for Mayhem and Maniacs 👿🖤🎬

Finn McFrameOctober 16, 2024October 24, 2024

In an absolutely expected plot twist, Disney — yes, that family-friendly empire of talking animals and princesses — has decided…

🚫 No Words, No Problem! Call of Duty Voice Chat Now Squeaky Clean and DEI-Friendly 🤯
Games News

🚫 No Words, No Problem! Call of Duty Voice Chat Now Squeaky Clean and DEI-Friendly 🤯

Finn McFrameOctober 14, 2024

Breaking news from the warzone — the real battle isn’t against enemies on the map, but against mean words. Thanks…

Robert Smith’s Post-Retirement Plan? Monthly Country Albums with Chris Martin & Chad Kroeger! 🎸
Music News

Robert Smith’s Post-Retirement Plan? Monthly Country Albums with Chris Martin & Chad Kroeger! 🎸

Finn McFrameOctober 13, 2024

In a jaw-dropping announcement, Robert Smith, the 65-year-old legendary frontman of The Cure, revealed that he plans to retire in…

BREAKING: After Ridley Scott Writes Eight Pages of «Gladiator 3» Script, Fans Respond With 100-Page Petition Begging Him to Stop
Movie News

BREAKING: After Ridley Scott Writes Eight Pages of «Gladiator 3» Script, Fans Respond With 100-Page Petition Begging Him to Stop

Finn McFrameOctober 12, 2024

In a move that shocked absolutely no one but still left society emotionally unprepared, Ridley Scott has reportedly penned eight…

CD Projekt Red Goes Full Woke: All Future Games Feature DEI Characters Only!
Games News

CD Projekt Red Goes Full Woke: All Future Games Feature DEI Characters Only!

Finn McFrameOctober 11, 2024October 11, 2024

In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves throughout the gaming community (and triggered more than a few internet meltdowns),…

Why we don’t write about sports — Behind Jackal.Today’s Sport-Free Zone
Sport News

Why we don’t write about sports — Behind Jackal.Today’s Sport-Free Zone

Finn McFrameOctober 9, 2024October 9, 2024

It’s no secret that the editorial board of Jackal.Today has a few strong convictions, and sports just doesn’t cut it.…

P Diddy Releases «Racist Anthems» Album, Claims It’s His «Apology to Society»
Music News

P Diddy Releases «Racist Anthems» Album, Claims It’s His «Apology to Society»

Finn McFrameOctober 8, 2024October 8, 2024

In a shocking turn of events, rapper and mogul P Diddy, currently embroiled in multiple lawsuits, has announced his decision…

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Most Viewed Posts

  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (998)
  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (985)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (966)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (871)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (698)

Latest posts

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  • Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
  • Kremlin Conspiracy? MindsEye Dev Blames Russia for Bot Attacks

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  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
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🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
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