Month: December 2024
Hoping To Win Back Conservatives, Disney Announces New Animated Film ‘Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled “Jumpy The…
Another Year of Satirical Brilliance (and Your Mediocrity)! 🎆 A Note from the Top Dog
Dear Readers (or as I like to call you, my unpaid chaos interns). Congratulations! You’ve survived another year on this…
Reformed Man Spends Relaxing Lord’s Day Blasting People In Theological Arguments Online
SUN VALLEY, CA — Sources close to Hodgson Lloyd-Jones Johnson confirmed earlier this week that the Reformed 32-year-old spent the…
Cousin’s Husband Says First Word
Read MoreThe OnionNORFOLK, VA—In what is being hailed as a huge milestone in the development of the man’s verbal skills,…
9 Places More Positive And Uplifting Than Social Media
Everyone knows how wonderful and soul-nourishing it can be to peruse social media platforms. But are there places you can…
🎧 Katy Perry’s «143«: Hidden Trump Code or Pop Disaster? Critics Explode 🎤
Katy Perry’s latest album, «143«, is making waves — but not the kind she’d hoped for. Since its release on…
Local Man Fondly Recalls Christian Music Being Cool Those Three Days After ‘Jesus Freak’ Came Out
LITTLE ROCK, AR — While taking time to look back on his life after another year passed, a local man…
Biden Finally Claims Title Of Worst Living President
SAINT CROIX — What had already been a relaxing family vacation to usher in the coming new year became the…
What To Know About ‘Squid Game’ Season 2
Read MoreThe OnionThree years after it first premiered, Squid Game is returning to Netflix. Here is what you need to…