You Can See Everything, a documentary that follows Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes in the month before her prison sentence, has debuted to critical acclaim. The Onion sat down with Holmes to discuss what’s new.
The Onion : Can we get you anything before starting?
Elizabeth Holmes: I would love a glass of $12 million.
The Onion : How are you feeling?
Billy Evans: I’ll take this. She’s feeling great, thanks.
The Onion : What piece of media would you say is the most accurate depiction of who you truly are?
Holmes: Probably the show Monk.
The Onion : Have you lost a lot of friends due to your legal troubles?
Holmes: Yes. That is what happened. I did have lots of friends, but I lost them.
The Onion : Are you still in touch with Walgreens?
Holmes: I’ve been on hold on the phone with them for about 10 years now.
The Onion : Is there anything you think the public misunderstands?
Holmes: Theranos only used blood from stray dogs we lured to our dog abattoir; no one missed those dogs.
The Onion : Does your family still trust you?
Holmes: Absolutely. Don’t tell them I’m in prison, though. They think I’m on vacation in Jamaica.
The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Elizabeth Holmes appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.