This week the Supreme Court began a new term, and there are several consequential cases on the docket. The Onion previews some of the most important cases being heard by the justices in the coming months.
Apple v. Epic Games : The suit over Apple’s App Store fees will be the first Supreme Court hearing hosted in Fortnite.
Mail-In Voting: States have petitioned the high court on mail-in voting concerns, citing evidence that citizens risk electing candidates who will best represent them.
Denis v. Cook County v. Wilmore : After years of stagnation, the Supreme Court is trying to mix things up by inviting a third party into a case.
Grand v. City of University Heights : The court will decide whether the First Amendment’s chilling-effect doctrine survives a land-use procedural rule when—you’re following us so far, right?
God v. Hernandez : The court will question whether the Almighty’s paralyzing of Hernandez in a car accident for the sin of sports gambling exceeds his heavenly jurisdiction.
The Justices’ Choice Award: The Supreme Court will convene later this month to answer the most important question of the term: Who will receive the Golden Gavel?
Jimmy v. Mrs. Walker : The court will decide if a person can receive detention for loudly saying “boob” during independent reading time when they were sounding out the word “boob” in their assigned reading.
Bats Cute v. Bats Gross : Are bats cute little buddies or terrifying blood-sucking vermin? One position will finally become law.
Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization : The conservative justices had so much fun overturning Roe v. Wade that they’ve decided to do it again!
The post Biggest Supreme Court Cases This Term appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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