SAN FRANCISCO—Immediately reconsidering her decision to treat herself to a little spending spree upon seeing how much it would cost, local woman Christina Rogers reportedly scrapped her plan to splurge Thursday on account of the price. “I told myself I was going to reward my hard work this week by dropping some serious dough on a nice shirt, but then I saw what they charge for a nice shirt,” said Rogers, adding that she abandoned the idea of spending lavishly on herself when she checked the price tag and realized she would have to pay $89.99 plus tax. “This money is burning a hole in my pocket, but the hole isn’t that big. Hopefully I’ll have a chance to splurge more responsibly if this goes on sale in a month or two.” At press time, sources confirmed Rogers had taken her desire to splurge to the clearance rack.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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