ENTER SHIKARI Finally Decides to Bless Us with a Music Video for ‘Find Out The Hard Way’ from Their Super Original Album ‘Lose Your Self’
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exciting news? 🤩🎉 I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
OMG SLAYER Fans Are Totally Not Going to Lose Their Minds Over This Insanely Overhyped 40th Anniversary Reissue of Hell Awaits That You Definitely Need to Buy Again
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤣 SLAYER’s iconic second studio album, “Hell Awaits”, is getting…
Madonna Emerges from Cryogenic Freezer to Bless Us with Another Album Because We Obviously Haven’t Suffered Enough with Confessions II
Breaking news, folks, the Queen of Pop, Madonna, has finally decided to bless us with a new album, Confessions ll,…
DREAM THEATER’s JOHN PETRUCCI Admits Playing Whole ‘Parasomnia’ Album Live Is Super Fun For Him But Possibly Soul Crushing For Everyone Else
In a shocking turn of events, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci revealed that the band’s current tour has been a…
RITCHIE BLACKMORE Reveals Shocking Truth That Most Guitar Players Are Actually Insufferable Humans with Bad Haircuts and a Perpetual Case of Smugness
The legendary Ritchie Blackmore, the iconic guitarist of DEEP PURPLE and RAINBOW, just celebrated his 81st birthday, and what better…
3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It
Breaking news, folks, the most epic metal band ever, 3 INCHES OF BLOOD, is back and ready to unleash some…
ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums
In a shocking turn of events, former Sepultura drummer Eloy Casagrande has joined the infamous metal band Slipknot, and we’re…
BRING ME THE HORIZON Finally Decides to Ruin Their Own Classic Album with a Cringeworthy 20th Anniversary ReRecording of ‘Count Your Blessings’ Because Nostalgia is a Cash Grab
Get ready for the most epic re-recording of the century, folks! 🤣 British rockers BRING ME THE HORIZON are releasing…
GUS G: ‘I Made The Super Original Decision To Not Join Any Other Bands After Playing With OZZY OSBOURNE Because I Didn’t Want To Be A Total Sellout Or Anything
In a shocking turn of events, Greek guitar virtuoso Gus G has revealed that he’s not a fan of being…
BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar
Get ready to rock, folks! 🤟 Keanu Reeves’ super cool, totally awesome, and not-at-all-trying-too-hard band DOGSTAR is back with a…