Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
XANDRIA Finally Decides to Release Some Actual Music Instead of Just Reheating the Same Old Power Ballads for the 12 People Who Still Listen to Symphonic Metal ‘Colours’ Single Dropping Like a Hot Potato From Upcoming ‘Eclipse’ Album Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway
Breaking, Music News

XANDRIA Finally Decides to Release Some Actual Music Instead of Just Reheating the Same Old Power Ballads for the 12 People Who Still Listen to Symphonic Metal ‘Colours’ Single Dropping Like a Hot Potato From Upcoming ‘Eclipse’ Album Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

🎸👀 Get ready for the most epic symphonic metal album of the century! 🎶🔥 German symphonic metallers XANDRIA will release…

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩🎸 German/American heavy metal legends ACCEPT are celebrating 50 years…

SONNY SANDOVAL On P.O.D.’s Upcoming LP: ‘It’s Definitely Not Going to Be a Trainwreck and Will Totally Not Be Forgotten in a Month’
Breaking News: P.O.D. Finishes Recording New Album and It's Going to Be a Wild Ride 🎉🔥
Breaking, Music News

SONNY SANDOVAL On P.O.D.’s Upcoming LP: ‘It’s Definitely Not Going to Be a Trainwreck and Will Totally Not Be Forgotten in a Month’

Chord F. DiscordJune 1, 2026June 1, 2026

The wait is over, folks! P.O.D. has finally completed work on their brand new studio album, and we can’t wait…

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years
Breaking, Music News

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉🤩 David Draiman, the lead vocalist of DISTURBED, has just announced…

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

So, you want to know about Alice Cooper’s thoughts on AI in music? Well, buckle up, folks, because the Godfather…

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🤩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really 🤔. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

IN THIS MOMENT Returns Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Their Screaming In Your Ears With Their Brand New Earworm ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ That Will Haunt You Forever
Breaking, Music News

IN THIS MOMENT Returns Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Their Screaming In Your Ears With Their Brand New Earworm ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ That Will Haunt You Forever

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2026May 29, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and awe-inspiring news ever: IN THIS MOMENT is back with a new single,…

Oh Great Another Has Been Band Releases a Single from Their Desperate Attempt at Relevance Before They Fade into Obscurity with Their Final Studio Album Boom Bang Goodbye called Wait
Breaking News: German Hard Rock Legends SINNER Release New Single "Wait" and It's Actually Not Terrible 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Oh Great Another Has Been Band Releases a Single from Their Desperate Attempt at Relevance Before They Fade into Obscurity with Their Final Studio Album Boom Bang Goodbye called Wait

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2026May 29, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the German hard rock veterans SINNER have released a new single, “Wait”, and it’s…

OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title
Breaking, Music News

OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Legendary guitarist Dave Hill is releasing a new album, because you clearly didn’t have enough of his solo work already…

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet
Breaking News: STRYPER Returns with New Single, and Honestly, We're Not Sure If We're Alright or Okay with It 🤔
Breaking, Music News

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

The legendary Christian metal band STRYPER has just released a new single, “I’m Alright (I’m Okay)”, and we’re still trying…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 36 37 38 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.