Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
Breaking, Music News

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking news: Sam Carter from ARCHITECTS is basically the coolest guy ever, and we’re all just jealous of his awesome…

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

So, you want to know about ANTHRAX’s new single, “It’s For The Kids”? 🤔 Well, let me tell you, it’s…

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
Breaking, Music News

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, LAMB OF GOD guitarist Mark Morton revealed that the band’s latest album, “Into Oblivion”,…

VOIVOD’s AWAY Loses Brain Cells Trying to Keep Up with Bunch of Fancy Music Nerds in Orchestra Nightmare Come to Life
Breaking News: VOIVOD's Upcoming Album "Symphonique" is Going to be a Wild Ride 🎢🤯
Breaking, Music News

VOIVOD’s AWAY Loses Brain Cells Trying to Keep Up with Bunch of Fancy Music Nerds in Orchestra Nightmare Come to Life

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the Canadian heavy metal band VOIVOD has announced their upcoming album “Symphonique”, a live…

SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2026May 25, 2026

Wow, you guys, the most epic thing just happened – SEVENDUST released a new album called “One” and it’s literally…

SOUNDGARDEN Still Chillin In The Studio 5 Years Later Trying To Finish That One Last Album With CHRIS CORNELL Because Time Is Clearly Not An Issue For Them
Breaking News: SOUNDGARDEN is Back, But Not Really, Because, You Know, Chris Cornell is Still Dead 🙄 🎸️
Breaking, Music News

SOUNDGARDEN Still Chillin In The Studio 5 Years Later Trying To Finish That One Last Album With CHRIS CORNELL Because Time Is Clearly Not An Issue For Them

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2026May 23, 2026

The remaining members of the band, Kim Thayil, Matt Cameron, and Ben Shepherd, are working on a new album featuring…

Oh great another genius like Tommy Lee releases a song called ‘Stupid World’ because obviously the world needed more of his expertise on stupidity from his Earth shattering album ‘Tommyland Rides Again’
Breaking, Music News

Oh great another genius like Tommy Lee releases a song called ‘Stupid World’ because obviously the world needed more of his expertise on stupidity from his Earth shattering album ‘Tommyland Rides Again’

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

Breaking news: Tommy Lee is back with a vengeance, or at least that’s what he thinks 🤣! The infamous MÖTLEY…

Breakout Band THE WARNING Totally Not Desperately Trying to Be Relevant with New Single Ego
Warning: The Warning is About to Take Over the World with Their New Single "Ego" 🌎💥
Breaking, Music News

Breakout Band THE WARNING Totally Not Desperately Trying to Be Relevant with New Single Ego

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

The Warning, the trio of sisters from Monterrey, Mexico, has just released a new single, “Ego”, and it’s about to…

FOO FIGHTERS Release Most Epic Music Video Ever Created by Humans Featuring Extreme Skiing Crew BPC Who Are Probably Better at Life Than You
Breaking, Music News

FOO FIGHTERS Release Most Epic Music Video Ever Created by Humans Featuring Extreme Skiing Crew BPC Who Are Probably Better at Life Than You

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

The FOO FIGHTERS are back with a blast of sonic fury that will blow your mind, or at least make…

TRAVIS BARKER Documentary ‘Louder Than My Marriage’ To Get Dumped On Unsuspecting Audiences At 2026 Tribeca Festival
Breaking, Music News

TRAVIS BARKER Documentary ‘Louder Than My Marriage’ To Get Dumped On Unsuspecting Audiences At 2026 Tribeca Festival

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and awe-inspiring documentary of the century (or at least that’s what the press…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 37 38 39 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.