Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter
Breaking, Music News

VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

So, like, KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent (you know, the dude who kinda looked like a rejected glam rocker from a…

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes
Breaking, Music News

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh my gosh, like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s supreme overlord, Fred Durst, has graced us with a super-emotional 😭 (not really) tribute…

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, dear Lord, can you believe what I just stumbled upon? 🙄 Apparently, MÖTLEY CRÜE’s John 5 (yes, the guy…

TYPE O NEGATIVE to unleash sonic torture device: ‘We’re still fiddling with knobs’
Breaking, Music News

TYPE O NEGATIVE to unleash sonic torture device: ‘We’re still fiddling with knobs’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for some earth-shattering news! Kenny Hickey, the guitar “genius” from that band your ex-boyfriend wouldn’t shut…

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74

Chord F. DiscordOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks! 🎸 Our favorite Spaceman, Ace Frehley, has officially crash-landed on that…

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party
Breaking, Music News

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone UK*, Jack Osbourne, otherwise known as “Ozzy’s spawn,” shared some profound insights 🙄…

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Brain Explodes: Life Support Update

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: According to TMZ.com, the one and only, the *legendary* (air quotes, people) KISS guitarist Ace Frehley is currently…

KISS Milks ‘Dressed To Kill’ for 50th Anniversary: Prepare for More Unheard Noise
Breaking, Music News

KISS Milks ‘Dressed To Kill’ for 50th Anniversary: Prepare for More Unheard Noise

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

OMG! 🙄 You won’t BELIEVE it! KISS, those dinosaurs 🦖, are releasing a 50th-anniversary edition of “Dressed To Kill” on…

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🙄 OMG, get ready to clutch your pearls, because those Grammy-hoarding, allegedly “progressive” (debatable, tbh) music titans, DREAM THEATER, are…

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 63 64 65 … 133 Next

Latest posts

  • Six Feet Under in Raleigh, NC (07/16/2026)
  • Trump’s Base Suddenly Realizes He’s Still Trump
  • Kataklysm in Raleigh, NC (07/16/2026)
  • WB Pushes Batman Sequel Back Amidst Frantic Reediting and Reshooting
  • Trump Gets Free Security Detail Until He Leaves Office

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}