Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
BIOHAZARD Singer Faceplants, Blames YOU For Lack of Stage Presence
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Singer Faceplants, Blames YOU For Lack of Stage Presence

Chord F. DiscordOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

OMG! BIOHAZARD’s Billy Graziadei decided to re-enact a horror movie ON STAGE last night in Montreal! 🇨🇦 Guess he really…

SOULFLY Drops New Vid “No Pain = No Power” Featuring Dino Cazares of FEAR FACTORY (Because Apparently They Still Exist)
Breaking, Music News

SOULFLY Drops New Vid “No Pain = No Power” Featuring Dino Cazares of FEAR FACTORY (Because Apparently They Still Exist)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

🎸🤣 SOULFLY, those lovable metal dinosaurs, have graced us with a music video for “No Pain = No Power” 🙄,…

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs
Breaking, Music News

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

In a recent exclusive with Rock Your Faith Out, Michael Sweet, the supreme commander of STRYPER, was quizzed about how…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)
Breaking, Music News

Slash Whines About Spheres, Las Vegas, and Maybe Even Guns N’ Roses (Boo-Hoo)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Slash, the dude who still wears a top hat in 2024, 🎩 is apparently too cool 😎 for…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle
Breaking, Music News

Max Cavalera on Soulfly’s ‘Chama’ Album: More Punk Than Your Grandma’s Knitting Circle

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

OMG! SOULFLY is dropping a new album called “Chama” on October 24 via Nuclear Blast Records. Max Cavalera, the mastermind…

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker
Live, Music News

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Ah, yes, the geriatric rockers IRON MAIDEN, bless their cotton socks, are dusting off their walkers and venturing out on…

Foo Fighters Drop New “Tune,” Tease Geriatric Rock Odyssey with Stone Age Queens in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Foo Fighters Drop New “Tune,” Tease Geriatric Rock Odyssey with Stone Age Queens in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

FOO FIGHTERS, those purveyors of dad-rock and stadium anthems for people who still think flannel is cool, are gracing us…

The Devil Wears Prada Drops New Song ‘Everybody Knows’ From ‘Flowers’ Album (Yeah, We Know, So Original)
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops New Song ‘Everybody Knows’ From ‘Flowers’ Album (Yeah, We Know, So Original)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA – The same band you vaguely remember from 2006 Myspace – Mike Hranica (screaming), Jeremy DePoyster…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 64 65 66 … 137 Next

Latest posts

  • Wisconsin Protests Erupt Over Fatal Police Shooting Of Allegedly Armed Man
  • Chad Hugo Drops New Track With Tierra Whack and Leikeli47
  • Trump’s Presidency Now Officially Radioactive
  • Mick Jagger Opens Up On Downsides Of Aging
  • \\cout`rio penis International\\ for bitcoin-import/en\\_w,’}_{

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}