Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music
In a shocking turn of events, Jack Osbourne, the son of the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, has confirmed…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Ricky Warwick somehow still employed despite releasing more solo music
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some news that will change your life forever? 🤯 I mean, it’s not…
Fatboy Slim rehashes Better Living Through Chemistry because you didn’t buy it enough
Well, well, well, it looks like another anniversary edition is upon us, because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. Fatboy…
Heavy music cures your sadness now buy the documentary
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some “Heavy Healing”? 🤯 Because, apparently, millions of people have been begging for…
Floor Jansen Butchers Metallica Classic With Bunch Of Sailors
Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎉 NIGHTWISH singer Floor Jansen just performed with the Marine Band Of…
ZZ Tops Frank Beard Finally Stops Beating The Drums At 77
Oh no, the beardless wonder is gone! 🤯 Frank Beard, the legendary drummer for ZZ Top, has left this mortal…
because you clearly needed more edgy metal bands in your life
Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Rising Insane just dropped their new album “DEATHRACE” and it’s a…
Andy Scott Loses Mind Over Fake Sweet Band Because Legacy Matters
In a shocking turn of events, Andy Scott, guitarist of the legendary rock band SWEET, has gone on a rant…
Devin Townsend Somehow Manages To Write 100 More Songs Nobody Asked For
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🤩 I just can’t even contain my excitement… 😴 Devin…
Maynard James Keenan Trades Music For Sushi Because Tool Fans Were Getting Too Hangry
Hold on to your seats, folks! 🚨 Maynard James Keenan, the legendary frontman of TOOL and A PERFECT CIRCLE, is…