Win Extremely Overpriced Tickets to Chilfest 2026 and Possibly Contract a Disease from the Porta Potties
The wait is finally over, folks! 🤩 Chilfest is back in the Chiltern Hills, Hertfordshire, on July 3-4, and it’s…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
DEVILDRIVER’s DEZ FAFARA On Upcoming Album That Will Probably Save Your Soul Or At Least Make You Headbang So Hard You’ll Forget Your Own Name ‘Strike And Kill’
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious face-melting, ear-bleeding, and head-banging? 🤯🎸 Because DEVILDRIVER is back with their…
OMG You Guys DRAGONFORCE Finally Found a Singer Who Can Scream Louder Than Their Guitar Solos and Her Name is ALISSA WHITE GLUZ
Breaking news, folks! 🚨 The most epic band in the world, DRAGONFORCE, has just made their live debut with their…
BREAKING: Metallica Suddenly Remembers They’re Old And Play Very Greek Song To Confused Fans In Athens
The legendary metal band Metallica kicked off their 2026 leg of the “M72” world tour in Athens, Greece, and we’re…
VENOM Trolls LAMB OF GOD Over Totally Not Ripoff Album Title and Honestly Who Cares Anyway
Oh boy, are you ready for some drama? 🤣 Because we’ve got a whole lot of it brewing in the…
MUDVAYNE’s CHAD GRAY Suddenly Remembers He Has a Music Career and Is ‘Totally Stoked’ to Maybe Possibly Release New Solo Music If He Feels Like It
Chad Gray, the king of metal, is back with his new solo project, “30 Years Of Madness” 🤯💥, and we’re…
RAUNCHY Finally Emerges From Their Parents Basement To Release Music Video For Overhyped Comeback Single ‘Designed Despair Because We Clearly Ran Out of Ideas’
Get ready to have your face melted by the most epic music video of the year, folks! 🤯 Danish metal…
L7 Embarks on ‘The Last Hurrah’ Tour Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough of Them the First Time Around
The iconic feminist rock band L7 has just announced their final world tour, “The Last Hurrah Tour”, and we’re all…
DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out
Breaking news: Dave Mustaine is retiring from music due to a condition that’s making it hard for him to play…
NAPALM DEATH’s SHANE EMBURY Loses Last Shred of Dignity While Gushing Over AT THE GATES Frontman TOMAS LINDBERG: ‘He Was The Only Guy Who Didn’t Think I Was Completely Insane’
In a shocking turn of events, the metal world is still reeling from the loss of Tomas “Tompa” Lindberg, the…