UNDERRATED Death Metal Band UNDEATH Finally Gets Noticed by Someone and Signs with RELAPSE RECORDS Because Nobody Else Would Take Them
Oh great, another super cool and totally not annoying death metal band has signed with a record label 🤘🎸. I…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
RAMONES To Waste Entire Year Reliving Glory Days With Overly Long And Probably Totally Unnecessary 50th Anniversary Party For Their Debut Album Because Let’s Face It They’re Not Getting Any Younger
The Ramones are still a thing, apparently, and people are still talking about them 50 years later 🎸🔥. Like, who…
DARKEST HOUR Still Trying To Make It Big After All These Years To Begin Recording 11th Studio Album With Producer MARK LEWIS In May Because 10 Wasnt Enough
In a shocking turn of events, Washington D.C. metallers DARKEST HOUR have announced that they will be entering the studio…
HEATHEN Unleashes a Mind Blowing Earth Shattering Life Changing Cover of Some Obscure Song from the 90s Called Twist Of Faith That You Probably Never Heard Of Anyway
San Francisco Bay Area thrash metal veterans HEATHEN have released another deep-dive cover of their members’ musical history to celebrate…
BREAKING TRAFFIC Co-Founder DAVE MASON Finally Found a Road That Wasn’t Congested Enough to Take His Life
The legendary musician Dave Mason has left the building, and we’re not just talking about his last concert venue 🎸👋!…
SAMMY HAGAR Downsizes 2026 U.K. Tour to Your Living Room, Will Play for You and Your 12 Closest Friends on His Newly Acquired Kazoo
Get ready for the most epic tour announcement of the year, folks! 🤩 Rock legend Sammy Hagar is coming to…
ZAKK WYLDE’s Super Obvious And Not At All Groundbreaking Advice To Young Musicians: ‘Duh Play Music You Actually Like’ And ‘For The Love Of All Things Holy Dont Be A Poser’
So, you want to be a rockstar, huh? 🤟 Well, let me tell you, it’s not all groupies and sold-out…
TESTAMENT Embarks On Quest To Thrash The Titans And Possibly Their Ears And Livers On Their Totally Not A Midlife Crisis Tour Of 2026
Breaking news, folks! 🚨 The most epic tour of the year has finally kicked off, and we’re not talking about…
ANDREAS KISSER Totally Definitely Isn’t Lying When He Says He Might Play with SEPULTURA Again After Their Totally Not Permanent Farewell Tour
In a shocking turn of events, SEPULTURA’s guitarist Andreas Kisser has revealed that the band’s farewell tour might not be…
SCORPIONS’ April 2026 Tour Of India Canceled Because Klaus Meine Finally Realized He’s Older Than The Taj Mahal
Oh no, the SCORPIONS have canceled their India tour 🎸🇮🇳, and we’re all just devastated 😱. The tour organizers, BookMyShow,…