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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
EPICA Drops New Single 'Avatar - The Final Incarnation': Because the World Clearly Needed One More Symphony in D Minor 🎻✨
Breaking, Music News

EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
Breaking, Music News

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)
Breaking, Music News

Ex-JOURNEY’s Steve Perry Opens Up His Magical Closet of Nostalgia for Holiday Charity Auction (No, You Can’t Bid on His Sweaters)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

Move Over, Santa! Steve Perry Is Coming To Town With A Holiday Auction That’ll Make You Sell Your Soul (And…

Robert Smith Announces He’ll ‘Cure’ Teenage Cancer Trust Gigs Like Some Kind of Goth Messiah (Again)
Breaking, Live, Music News

Robert Smith Announces He’ll ‘Cure’ Teenage Cancer Trust Gigs Like Some Kind of Goth Messiah (Again)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

Robert Smith Summons the Ghosts of Alternative Rock Past for Teenage Cancer Trust Extravaganza – Because Apparently, the ’90s Never…

CRADLE OF FILTH Drags Themselves Out of the Crypt for Yet Another Tour Because Apparently We Still Haven’t Suffered Enough With SUFFOCATION, GHOST BATH, and CULTUS BLACK in Tow
Live, Music News

CRADLE OF FILTH Drags Themselves Out of the Crypt for Yet Another Tour Because Apparently We Still Haven’t Suffered Enough With SUFFOCATION, GHOST BATH, and CULTUS BLACK in Tow

Chord F. DiscordDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

🎸🔥 BREAKING: CRADLE OF FILTH TO EMBARK ON U.S. TOUR, LOCAL VAMPIRES AND GOTH TEENS REJOICE (PARENTS, HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS)…

SKILLET’s John Cooper Claims Bedroom Conversion at Age Five: Tiny Human, Huge Decision
Breaking, Music News

SKILLET’s John Cooper Claims Bedroom Conversion at Age Five: Tiny Human, Huge Decision

Chord F. DiscordDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

In the latest earth-shattering episode of the See The King podcast (sponsored by holy water and gluten-free communion wafers), host…

THE DARKNESS Ruins Christmas 2025 With ‘Mistletoe And Wine’
Breaking, Music News

THE DARKNESS Ruins Christmas 2025 With ‘Mistletoe And Wine’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

British rockers THE DARKNESS, bless their hearts, have decided to unleash their new single, “Mistletoe And Wine”, upon the unsuspecting…

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)
Breaking, Music News

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chile’s prestigious SonarFM (a.k.a. the only radio station willing to talk to him), AVANTASIA overlord…

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”
Breaking, Music News

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Estonia’s AlteRock, the dynamic duo of THREE DAYS GRACE – Adam Gontier and Matt Walst…

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