Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
SKID ROW’s Rachel Bolan Unleashes Self-Absorbed Side Hustle ‘Gargoyle Of The Garden State’ This June—Breaking Up Lawn Decor and Eardrums Alike
Breaking, Music News

SKID ROW’s Rachel Bolan Unleashes Self-Absorbed Side Hustle ‘Gargoyle Of The Garden State’ This June—Breaking Up Lawn Decor and Eardrums Alike

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your hairspray cans, folks, because SKID ROW bassist Rachel Bolan just discovered he can do… everything 😱. On…

Zakk Wylde’s Acoustic Set Confirmed: Amoeba Hollywood To Host Unplanned Therapy Session for Confused Metalheads
Breaking, Music News

Zakk Wylde’s Acoustic Set Confirmed: Amoeba Hollywood To Host Unplanned Therapy Session for Confused Metalheads

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

BREAKING NEWS: Guitar Demigod Zakk Wylde Temporarily Abandons Shredding to Play Folk Music at Record Store, Chaos Ensues 🎸💥 Hold…

Exclusive: Clawfinger Finally Releases New Album After 19 Years — Band Confirms ‘Yes, We Forgot We Were Musicians’
Breaking, Music News

Exclusive: Clawfinger Finally Releases New Album After 19 Years — Band Confirms ‘Yes, We Forgot We Were Musicians’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Oh sweet baby Ragnarök, the Swedish-Norwegian rap-metal geriatrics of CLAWFINGER have crawled out of their crypts to bless us with…

Caught in 4K: Watch NAILBOMB Attempt Sonic Terrorism Against LA’s Remaining Ear Canal Population
Breaking, Music News

Caught in 4K: Watch NAILBOMB Attempt Sonic Terrorism Against LA’s Remaining Ear Canal Population

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Hold onto your grandma’s dentures, folks! 🦷💥 Because NAILBOMB just blew the roof off 1720 in Los Angeles with a…

Prepare for Symphonic Overkill and 100% More Pretentious Arm-Waving
Breaking, Music News

Prepare for Symphonic Overkill and 100% More Pretentious Arm-Waving

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your taco hats, metalheads 🌮🎸 because Therion just dropped a symphonic metal album so extra, it needs TWO…

Ex-DEICIDE Guitarist JACK OWEN Tells Glen Benton He Wasn’t In His Weird Little Bubble But Thanks For The Invitation Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Ex-DEICIDE Guitarist JACK OWEN Tells Glen Benton He Wasn’t In His Weird Little Bubble But Thanks For The Invitation Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

So, here we are again, folks. Another day, another former member of a legendary death metal band throwing shade like…

GREAT WHITE’s MARK KENDALL Opens Up About His Stage Four Kidney Cancer Diagnosis: I Was Peeing ‘Actual Blood’ and Woke Up Looking Like a Crime Scene
Breaking, Music News

GREAT WHITE’s MARK KENDALL Opens Up About His Stage Four Kidney Cancer Diagnosis: I Was Peeing ‘Actual Blood’ and Woke Up Looking Like a Crime Scene

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Great White Shark Mark Kendall Battles Kidney Cancer With A Little Help From His Immune System And A Pen That…

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’
Breaking, Music News

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, literally everyone who follows classic rock drama), Matt…

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Imagine being 77 years old, having more energy than a toddler on a sugar rush, and still pretending to be…

CHAD GRAY Calls HELLYEAH Reunion a Total Clusterf**k: ‘Slapping the Band Back Together Without Vinnie Paul Like a Weird Frankenstein’s Monster’
Breaking, Music News

CHAD GRAY Calls HELLYEAH Reunion a Total Clusterf**k: ‘Slapping the Band Back Together Without Vinnie Paul Like a Weird Frankenstein’s Monster’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Picture this: Chad Gray, the man with the lung capacity of a steam engine and the vocal stylings of a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 83 84 85 … 180 Next

Latest posts

  • Virginia Senator’s Career Gets Exciting Plot Twist Suddenly
  • Queens of the Stone Age and Pixies Team Up for Spring Tour
  • Christina Aguilera Performs with Chappell Roan in LA
  • Daft Punk Teams Up with LEGO for New Collaboration
  • Clavicular’s Looksmaxxing Skills Clearly Didn’t Extend to Not Getting Arrested

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.