Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment
Pavement Entertainment, known for its exquisite taste in… uh… “music,” has proudly announced the signing of THE ROCKETT MAFIA. Yes,…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
EVERGREY Burps Out New Single ‘Oxygen’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Oh boy, here we go again! 🙄 EVERGREY, those Swedish metal… *things*, are back with a new song called “Oxygen”.…
OMG! Miss Chile Ditches World Peace for Death Metal Screams, Judges’ Ears Bleed
Ignacia Fernández, a 27-year-old *model* (we use that term loosely) who also fronts the earth-shatteringly obscure Chilean “progressive” death metal…
Skindred Announces New Album Titled ‘You Got This’ Because Apparently We Didn’t Know, Also Shares Title Track, How Generous
Welsh “ragga metal” (🙄) legends SKINDRED, still clinging to relevance, have unleashed their new single, “You Got This” – a…
Static & Wife: A Love Story for the Ages (Said No One Ever)
OMG! 😱 Matt Zane, the visionary behind such cinematic masterpieces as Wayne Static’s solo videos 🙄, is launching a crowdfunding…
Five Finger Death Punch and Babymetal’s Collab: Saving Radio, One Cringe Song at a Time
So, like, get this: 🙄 on Saturday, November 1st (as if you care about dates), Ivan Moody and Zoltan Bathory…
PUDDLE OF MUDD Dumps New Single ‘Monsters,’ Proving They Still Exist
Behold, peasants! PUDDLE OF MUDD, those titans of… well, *something*, have unleashed their latest auditory assault upon the world: a…
Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026
OMG! 😱 Download Festival is back in 2026 as DLXXIII, because apparently, we’re all still alive and kicking… or at…
SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…
DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish
Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November…