Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Guns N’ Roses Vomits Out Two New Singles, ‘Nothin” And ‘Atlas’
OMG! 🚨GUNS N’ ROSES🚨 just dropped two new singles! 🙄 Because, you know, we were all *dying* for more Axl…
Flea’s Solo Album Dropping in 2026 – Get Ready to Wait, Pepper Heads
After five glorious decades of slapping the bass 🎸 in the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS (because, let’s face it, that’s…
PANTERA: Fully Authorized Photo Book Coming Spring 2026 (If You Actually Care)
Oh, great. Just what the world needed: another “Pantera” (but not really) cash-grab coffee table book from Rufus Publications, featuring…
GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…
MAYHEM Drops a Real Downer, “Despair,” from Their Joyless “Liturgy of Death” Album
Get ready, posers, because the corpse-painted clowns 🤡 in MAYHEM are back with their SEVENTH studio album, “Liturgy Of Death”,…
Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…
Ex-Fear Factory Drummer Thinks Dave Mustaine’s a Hater Because He Didn’t Fanboy Over His Megadeth Remix
In a recent tell-all with Story Mode, the legend himself, former FEAR FACTORY drum-banger Raymond Herrera (also known for composing…
The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…
AC/DC Still Kicking After All These Years: Watch ‘If You Want Blood’ in Adelaide (2025) – Are They Even Trying Anymore
Australia’s 7NEWS, which is basically the journalistic equivalent of that one uncle who still forwards chain emails, has graced us…