TEEMU MÄNTYSAARI Thrilled To Discover His Name Fits In A Booklet Without Spelling Errors
In a revelation that has absolutely shocked the metal community to its very core (seriously, you could hear a pin…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’
Brace yourselves, drumming degenerates, because the metal beat-keeper himself, Nick Barker, is currently locked in a death match with his…
Watch: URIAH HEEP Celebrates 50 Years of Existence by Finally Getting Rid of Their Only Remaining Original Member, Mick Box
Uriah Heep Kicks Off Scandinavian ‘Magician’s Farewell’ Tour in Tampere—Because Even Legends Need a Nap 😴🎸 In a move that…
SHINEDOWN’s BARRY KERCH Demolishes LUDACRIS With Epic Verdict: ‘A Coward’ For Ditching KID ROCK’s ‘Rock The Country’ Festival
Get ready to clutch your pearls and hide your keyboards, because the internet’s favorite symphony of outrage has found its…
POPPY Just Dropped the ‘Time Will Tell’ Music Video From That ‘Empty Hands’ Album You Pretended to Listen To
Poppy Is Here To Collect Your Digital Soul With “Empty Hands” And We’re All Just Living In It 🤖🙏 Ladies,…
Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’
🎶 Unleash the Acoustic Dragon: Keith Wallen’s New Single “A Thin Line” is Here to Haunt Your Playlists! 🎶 In…
OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…
Unauthorized Wayne Static Doc Funded by Matt Zane Because Dead Guys Can’t Sue
Well, well, well, grab your popcorn and your hazmat suits, because the unauthorized documentary drama of the decade is back…
ARCHITECTS Announce Spring 2026 U.S. Tour With Enough Tremolo Picks To Fix A Thousand Broken Mirrors, Drop Video For ‘Broken Mirror’
Hold onto your neck braces and prepare your eardrums for the glorious return of the UK’s finest architects of chaos,…
STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026
In the thunderous, eternal battle against the ever-looming threat of having actual release dates, THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT has emerged victorious…