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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

CNN: Americans Can’t Afford a Vacation (Thanks, Biden)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Americans Can’t Afford a Vacation (Thanks, Biden)

Big ElephantNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting that Americans are feeling the pinch of “rising prices.” As if anyone needed CNN…

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Slender Woman Gets Lost in Wisconsin: A Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another feel-good story courtesy of the liberal loony bin. A woman, coddled by our “justice”…

Wall Street Freaks Out Over Zillow Hack: Is Your McMansion Data Safe?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street Freaks Out Over Zillow Hack: Is Your McMansion Data Safe?

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Oh, the Horror! Wall Street Data Breach – Probably Hillary’s Emails, Again! I bet it was Crooked Hillary again. Or…

Ex-UVA Student Scores 5 Life Sentences: Touchdown of Justice or Epic Fail?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-UVA Student Scores 5 Life Sentences: Touchdown of Justice or Epic Fail?

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Another day, another tragedy fueled by the leftist agenda infiltrating our universities! A former UVA student, Christopher Darnell Jones Jr.,…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Two activist judges, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, have decided they know better than President Trump when it…

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks. CNN is hyperventilating about an “AI bubble” while our GREAT President Trump is leading America…

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Lib-controlled Port of Los Angeles! You just KNOW this fire on the One…

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another leftist propaganda piece masquerading as “entertainment”! Hulu’s “Murdaugh: Death in the Family” is out, and it’s just…

Beyonce’s Publicist: Black? Groundbreaking | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beyonce’s Publicist: Black? Groundbreaking | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, CNN, always chasing those hard-hitting stories! Apparently, the fact that Beyonce’s publicist is Black is groundbreaking news now. I…

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