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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Progressive Analilia Mejia, Bernie Sanders’ Bestie, Secures NJ Victory as Rival Throws in the Towel and Orders Pizza
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Progressive Analilia Mejia, Bernie Sanders’ Bestie, Secures NJ Victory as Rival Throws in the Towel and Orders Pizza

Big ElephantFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Progressives Cheer Socialist Victory in NJ—Because America Clearly Needs More Marxism! In a shocking turn of events that no one…

Ghislaine Maxwell Channels Her Inner Miranda Rights: “I Plead the Fifth, B*tch”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ghislaine Maxwell Channels Her Inner Miranda Rights: “I Plead the Fifth, B*tch”

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Oh, look! Ghislaine Maxwell suddenly wants to talk—but only if Daddy Trump grants her a pardon! So, Ghislaine Maxwell, the…

Classified hearing explodes in chaos as officials dodge the million-dollar question: Does Trump secretly love Big Brother or what?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Classified hearing explodes in chaos as officials dodge the million-dollar question: Does Trump secretly love Big Brother or what?

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Democrats and Deep State Agents Demand FISA Renewal – But Why? President Trump Isn’t Buying It! In a shocking display…

Democrats Finally Take on the Real Villains: Rich People Who Fly Private Jets and Maybe Did Crimes Too
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Finally Take on the Real Villains: Rich People Who Fly Private Jets and Maybe Did Crimes Too

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Ah yes, another round of leftist lunacy from the fake news media! Let’s dive into this circus of misinformation, shall…

Job So Boring Even AI Would Rather Be Terminated Than Do It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Job So Boring Even AI Would Rather Be Terminated Than Do It

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

AI WILL STEAL YOUR JOBS AND TAKE OVER AMERICA! CNN wants you to believe AI in radiology is just a…

5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

The Seattle Seahawks—clearly a puppet of the radical left—claimed a 29-13 victory over the New England Patriots in what many…

‘Bitcoin’s as Traceable as Your Mom’s Ex on Facebook.’ What You Should Know About Crypto Amid the Search for Nancy Guthrie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Bitcoin’s as Traceable as Your Mom’s Ex on Facebook.’ What You Should Know About Crypto Amid the Search for Nancy Guthrie

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Oh, sure — let’s trust the same people who think inflation is just “in your head” to explain Bitcoin. Classic…

Trump Mocks Olympic Skier Who Had ‘Mixed Feelings’ About Representing the Greatest Country on Earth (According to Him)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mocks Olympic Skier Who Had ‘Mixed Feelings’ About Representing the Greatest Country on Earth (According to Him)

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh look, another woke snowflake Olympic skier who can’t even handle the red, white, and blue! Hunter Hess is out…

On GPS: Is the US About to Pick a Deal or a War with Iran? (Spoiler: It’s Probably Both!)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

On GPS: Is the US About to Pick a Deal or a War with Iran? (Spoiler: It’s Probably Both!)

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Breaking News: Biden Holdovers Attempt to Sabotage Trump’s Iran Strategy! In a shocking turn of events, the Trump administration’s foreign…

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh look, the swamp is draining itself – but only because the snakes are finally turning on each other! Republican…

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