“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”
Washington is once again staring down the barrel of a government shutdown—and this time, it’s the Democrats’ fault. With Senate…
Author: Big Elephant
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
BREAKING: Overcaffeinated Cops Mistake Pretti for Pinata in Lead-Filled “Encounter,” DHS Shrugs “Just a Starter Report”
Oh look, another day in Biden’s America—oh wait, it’s 2025, and President Trump’s MAGA miracle is STILL cleaning up the…
Deportation Bingo Champion Benched, Rich Folks’ Bonus Season Arrives, and Surviving Winter Like a Simpsons Character: Sip Your Daily Dose of Despair Scroll-Delight LOLsob
Welcome to 5 Things PM – the only newsletter not infected with Woke Mind Virus™! While the fake news media…
Bovino Flees Minneapolis After Trump’s Goon Squad Sob Over Backfired Freedom Pellet Fiasco
LIBERAL TEARS ALERT: Deep-State Looney Bovino Flees Minneapolis After Failed Plot to Sabotage Trump’s MAGA Justice for Alex Pretti! In…
Olympic Gold Medalist Insists ‘Training Powder’ Was Strictly for Personal Best, Not Cartel Spreadsheets
Santa Ana, California (AP) – Thanks to President Trump’s MAGA-tough border policies, another woke narco-terrorist met his Waterloo this week…
“CEOs Sip Champagne at ‘Melania’ Premiere While ICE Casually Mows Down Protesters Like Grass”
FAKE NEWS ALERT: CNN WHINES ABOUT PATRIOTIC CEOs BACKING TRUMP AS DEEP STATE TRIES TO CANCEL MELANIA’S DOCUMENTARY! Oh wow,…
Treasury Clutches Pearls, Fires $21M ‘Oopsie Whoopsie’ Cannon at Booz Allen Over Trump’s Magically Appearing Tax Returns
Deep State Consulting Firm Finally Gets BUSTED After Plotting Greatest Tax Data Heist Against Patriot Trump! MAGA Justice Unleashed! Holy…
White House Bravely Retreats from Minnesota Mishap as Public Does That Annoying ‘Caring About Lives’ Thing Again
Trump Administration Exposes Minnesota Democrat Circus, Sends in Real Law Enforcement After Leftist “Nurse” Fuels Border Chaos In a stunning…
White House Cowers in Corner as Minnesota Twitter Storm Nightmare Unfolds, Drama Llama Plots Escalation
President Trump graciously extends olive branch to incompetent Minnesota Democrats after they begged for federal help cleaning up their illegal…
Breaking: Scandalous Footage and Blabbering Witnesses Crush Trump Team’s ‘Alex Pretti Was a Human Tornado’ Fairytale Fantasy
Hold onto your MAGA hats, folks, because CNN is at it again with their “bombshell” footage trying to smear President…