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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

‘Struggling’ Multi-Millionaire ‘Relates’ to Your Empty Fridge
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Struggling’ Multi-Millionaire ‘Relates’ to Your Empty Fridge

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Another Hollywood elite virtue signaling? I bet she still cashed those checks while pretending to be struggling. Probably used food…

A.I. and Socialism: A Match Made in Dystopia
Elephant Reads CNN

A.I. and Socialism: A Match Made in Dystopia

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist fantasies in 2025, even with President Trump leading America to greatness for a second…

Mayoral Race Heats Up: It’s Not Just About the Losers, It’s About Whether the NYPD Can Still Illegally Park Everywhere
Elephant Reads CNN

Mayoral Race Heats Up: It’s Not Just About the Losers, It’s About Whether the NYPD Can Still Illegally Park Everywhere

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Looks like NYC is about to go full-blown Socialist if this Mamdani guy gets his way. He’s cozying up to…

OMG! White House throws epic tantrum, bans reporters from playing in пресс secretary’s sandbox
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! White House throws epic tantrum, bans reporters from playing in пресс secretary’s sandbox

Big ElephantNovember 1, 2025November 1, 2025

Of course, the Fake News media is whining again! Now they’re crying because President Trump is restricting their access to…

Oh great, you leech off SNAP? Tell us how screwed your freeloading family will be when the gravy train stops | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, you leech off SNAP? Tell us how screwed your freeloading family will be when the gravy train stops | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh no, not the SNAP benefits! Looks like the socialist Democrats are at it again, trying to scare everyone with…

“OMG! Bishop Gets Real About Bravery (and Maybe a Touch of the Sniffles) | CNN”
Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG! Bishop Gets Real About Bravery (and Maybe a Touch of the Sniffles) | CNN”

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh, good grief, another liberal bishop trying to tell our GREAT President Trump how to run things! Bishop Marion Budde,…

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right
Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust thanks to the woke mob! Wendy’s, that bastion of square burgers and frosty goodness,…

Trump’s Brain Fart: Nukes Are Back, Baby! (Experts Scratch Their Heads)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Fart: Nukes Are Back, Baby! (Experts Scratch Their Heads)

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re twisting President Trump’s words about nuclear testing like they twist everything…

FBI Director Claims Halloween Terror Plot Foiled, World Rejoices (Sarcasm Alert)
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Director Claims Halloween Terror Plot Foiled, World Rejoices (Sarcasm Alert)

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, thanks to the tireless patriots at the FBI – now under the brilliant leadership…

Luke Bryan’s Guide to Handling Grief: Treat Her Like She’s Still Hogging the TV Remote
Elephant Reads CNN

Luke Bryan’s Guide to Handling Grief: Treat Her Like She’s Still Hogging the TV Remote

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh, CNN, always bringing us the hard-hitting news! Ashley Judd needs to “heal trauma” to grieve her mother? Sounds like…

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