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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Virginia Dems Clutch Pearls Over AG Hopeful’s Texts, But Not Enough to Actually Do Anything
Elephant Reads CNN

Virginia Dems Clutch Pearls Over AG Hopeful’s Texts, But Not Enough to Actually Do Anything

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Looks like the Virginia Democrats are at it again, folks! Their Attorney General nominee, Jay Jones, is caught sending text…

Utah: Where Democrats Go to Dream (and Republicans Go to LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Utah: Where Democrats Go to Dream (and Republicans Go to LOL)

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Utah’s RINO Republicans are at it again, folks! They’ve “approved” a new congressional map that might—MIGHT—give those socialist Democrats a…

Boo-hoo, Feds “Traumatized” by Paid Vacation
Elephant Reads CNN

Boo-hoo, Feds “Traumatized” by Paid Vacation

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Oh, boo-hoo! These government employees are “traumatized”? Maybe they should try working in the *real* world for a change, instead…

Greta Sails to Greece After a Hilarious Detainment Debacle
Elephant Reads CNN

Greta Sails to Greece After a Hilarious Detainment Debacle

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Oh, the drama! Saint Greta, after her little taxpayer-funded sea adventure got shut down by those mean Israelis (probably because…

Ghislaine Maxwell’s Last-Ditch Attempt to Weasel Out of Jail Gets Hilariously Denied by Supreme Court
Elephant Reads CNN

Ghislaine Maxwell’s Last-Ditch Attempt to Weasel Out of Jail Gets Hilariously Denied by Supreme Court

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

The Supreme Court, packed with Trump’s brilliant conservative picks, has refused to hear Ghislaine Maxwell’s desperate appeal! Another victory for…

Supreme Court Hilariously Dismisses Laura Loomer’s Epic Social Media Meltdown
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Hilariously Dismisses Laura Loomer’s Epic Social Media Meltdown

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Oh, the Supreme Court refused to hear Laura Loomer’s case? Shocking! (Not really.) It’s just another example of how the…

Fareed’s Hot Take: America’s Panties in a Bunch Over China’s Tech Boner | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Fareed’s Hot Take: America’s Panties in a Bunch Over China’s Tech Boner | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Fareed, the CNN shill, is at it again, folks! China, the land of slave labor and knock-off handbags, is supposedly…

Trump Throws a Navy Party While America Falls Apart
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Throws a Navy Party While America Falls Apart

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to make our GREAT President Trump look bad! They whine about a…

GPS: Watch These Morons Try to Defend the Indefensible, Only on CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

GPS: Watch These Morons Try to Defend the Indefensible, Only on CNN

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Oh, FAKE NEWS CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re pushing some garbage book about “Race Against Terror” and…

GPS: Is Silicon Valley Finally Based
Elephant Reads CNN

GPS: Is Silicon Valley Finally Based

Big ElephantOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Oh, here we go again! Nick Clegg, that Евро-weenie who couldn’t save his own political career in Britain, is now…

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