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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Adulting is Hard: Making Bank Moves While the World’s on Fire
Elephant Reads CNN

Adulting is Hard: Making Bank Moves While the World’s on Fire

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom, are at it again! Apparently, the world is ending because you might have…

VA Hospital Staff Morale Plummets to Mariana Trench Depths as Doctors Become Janitors and Nurses Play Hide-and-Seek With Supplies
Elephant Reads CNN

VA Hospital Staff Morale Plummets to Mariana Trench Depths as Doctors Become Janitors and Nurses Play Hide-and-Seek With Supplies

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another liberal media outlet trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN is at it again, folks, pushing…

Senate Pulls All-Nighter for Trump’s “Totally Amazing and Not at All Problematic” Bill
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Pulls All-Nighter for Trump’s “Totally Amazing and Not at All Problematic” Bill

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another chance for the Deep State Democrats to try and sabotage our glorious President Trump! They call it…

Kohberger Gets a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card, Victim’s Fam Throws a Hissy Fit
Elephant Reads CNN

Kohberger Gets a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card, Victim’s Fam Throws a Hissy Fit

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another day, another Deep State victory for the radical left. This plea deal in the…

Elon vs Tiny: A Geriatric Cage Match for Twitter Supremacy
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon vs Tiny: A Geriatric Cage Match for Twitter Supremacy

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Looks like the bromance between our great President Trump and that wacky Elon Musk is…

“Coachella for Kale? Teens Desperately Trying to Make ‘MAHA’ Happen”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Coachella for Kale? Teens Desperately Trying to Make ‘MAHA’ Happen”

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, CNN, always on the cutting edge of… lettuce? These “MAHA Girls” want a Coachella for kale? Sounds like a…

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, the horror! More ads at the movies? This is what happens when you let the woke mob run Hollywood!…

Powell Blames Trump for No Rate Cuts, World Implodes
Elephant Reads CNN

Powell Blames Trump for No Rate Cuts, World Implodes

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Typical deep-state sabotage! CNN reports that Fed Chair Jerome Powell, probably a secret Democrat, admitted he’d be cutting rates if…

OMG! Republican Wannabes Hold Their Breath Waiting for Queen Lara’s Royal Decree in North Carolina Senate Race, CNN Whispers
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Republican Wannabes Hold Their Breath Waiting for Queen Lara’s Royal Decree in North Carolina Senate Race, CNN Whispers

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s thinking about joining the political swamp! Lara Trump, a true patriot and daughter-in-law of the…

Bush and Obama Cry Over Trump’s USAID Massacre on Its Deathbed
Elephant Reads CNN

Bush and Obama Cry Over Trump’s USAID Massacre on Its Deathbed

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, the drama! Obama, Bush, and Bono (yes, *that* Bono) shed crocodile tears over President Trump’s dismantling of USAID. Seems…

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