Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Smithsonian Goes Full Communist Says White House Report Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Smithsonian Goes Full Communist Says White House Report Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

The White House has come out swinging at the Smithsonian Institution, accusing its leaders of peddling a far-left ideology that…

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Washington, DC, where the city briefly had the worst…

Mallory McMorrow Bows Out of Senate Primary Because Politics is Hard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mallory McMorrow Bows Out of Senate Primary Because Politics is Hard

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sipping my morning coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Democratic Senate primary in Michigan, where Mallory…

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a seaplane that made a hard landing in the East River between…

Firework Adds Excitement to Otherwise Mundane Chicago Landing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Firework Adds Excitement to Otherwise Mundane Chicago Landing

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a Delta Air Lines flight that was apparently struck by fireworks as…

Florida Teens Successfully Take Over Nothing But Emergency Rooms
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Teens Successfully Take Over Nothing But Emergency Rooms

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest chaos in Pensacola, Florida, where a 19-year-old man was killed…

Because What July 4th Needs Is More Gunfire Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Because What July 4th Needs Is More Gunfire Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest shooting in Brooklyn, and I just can’t help but think,…

Woman Rows Really Far Across Ocean Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Woman Rows Really Far Across Ocean Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about Kelsey Pfendler’s record-breaking journey from California to Hawaii. This lady is a…

South Park Owners Sued Over Restaurant Working Conditions Apparently Not Funny
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

South Park Owners Sued Over Restaurant Working Conditions Apparently Not Funny

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it turns out that actress Brooke Shields made a reservation…

Pelosi’s Husband Somehow Manages to Find Trouble in California Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi’s Husband Somehow Manages to Find Trouble in California Again

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Paul Pelosi, the 86-year-old husband of former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 86 87 88 … 385 Next

Latest posts

  • CNN Business Ponders If Robots Will Steal All The Jobs
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date about issues
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS former president Donald Trump posts on Truth Social
  • Twenty One Pilots Praise Brazilian Fans Ahead Of Rock in Rio Debut

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.