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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Nation Somehow Manages To Contain Excitement For Soccer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Somehow Manages To Contain Excitement For Soccer

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2026

The World Cup has finally arrived in the US, and I’m having a blast reading about it while sipping my…

Shark Apparently Confused New Yorker for Lunch
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Shark Apparently Confused New Yorker for Lunch

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – a swimmer got bitten on the foot in a suspected…

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Apparently Human Beings Too
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Apparently Human Beings Too

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest celebrity news, and it seems like Taylor Swift has finally…

Trump Autographs Currency Because Humility Is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Autographs Currency Because Humility Is Overrated

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and I’ve got to say, it’s a…

Mexico and South Korea’s Adorable World Cup Bromance Lives On
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mexico and South Korea’s Adorable World Cup Bromance Lives On

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the unlikely friendship between Mexican and Korean World Cup fans, and…

Trump Rewards Polluters With Pardons Because Who Needs Clean Air Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Rewards Polluters With Pardons Because Who Needs Clean Air Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a…

Dave Eggers Warns AI Will Destroy Art Probably Too Late Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dave Eggers Warns AI Will Destroy Art Probably Too Late Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Dave Eggers’ new novel “Contrapposto”, and I have to say, it’s quite…

Texas Fair Delayed Because Heat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Fair Delayed Because Heat

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my morning coffee, reading about the heat wave that’s got the eastern United States in…

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the weeklong funeral for Iran’s former Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and…

Trump Vows To Talk Forever On July 4th
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Vows To Talk Forever On July 4th

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s plans for a super long July 4th speech, and I’ve…

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