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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

FBI Finally Catches Guy Who Watched Too Much ‘Home Alone’ and Built a Bomb, Like, Two Years Ago
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Finally Catches Guy Who Watched Too Much ‘Home Alone’ and Built a Bomb, Like, Two Years Ago

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Folks, another deep state operative has been dragged out of the shadows! They want you to believe this pipe bomber…

U.S. Blows Up Boats, Claims “Drugs Were on ‘Em”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Blows Up Boats, Claims “Drugs Were on ‘Em”

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Another day, another excuse for the Lib Media to whine about President Trump keeping our nation safe! CNN, still sniffing…

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Oh, no! Not another snowflake worried about a disease that’s practically gone! This John Ellis, bless his delicate heart, is…

Trump Says He’s Cool With Dropping More Bombs on Alleged Drug Boats, Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Says He’s Cool With Dropping More Bombs on Alleged Drug Boats, Because Why Not

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the War on Drugs! Those pathetic drug smugglers thought they could sneak…

New York Lawmakers Triggered, Want to Ban Protests Near Holy Buildings After Mean Pro-Palestinian Demonstration
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New York Lawmakers Triggered, Want to Ban Protests Near Holy Buildings After Mean Pro-Palestinian Demonstration

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes in New York are at it again! Apparently, those oh-so-tolerant liberals can’t handle a little free…

“Totally Disgusted” Cries Victim After Trump Lets Rich Guy Who Probably Deserved It Off the Hook, CNN Reports (Obviously)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Totally Disgusted” Cries Victim After Trump Lets Rich Guy Who Probably Deserved It Off the Hook, CNN Reports (Obviously)

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls because President Trump, the greatest negotiator this country…

GOP Senator Thinks Hegseth Is Either a Big Fat Liar or Just Plain Dumb, LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senator Thinks Hegseth Is Either a Big Fat Liar or Just Plain Dumb, LOL

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Another day, another Deep State conspiracy! These RINO Republicans and the radical Democrats are at it again, folks, trying to…

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to show their true colors! Costco, that bastion of bulk bargains, is now suing…

Larry Summers Gets Cancelled (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Larry Summers Gets Cancelled (Like We Didn’t See That Coming)

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Looks like the swamp monster Larry Summers, former Clinton crony and Harvard bigwig, is finally…

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans Hilariously Backpedal Faster Than a Roadrunner on the Double-Tap Debacle | CNN Politics

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal media (aka CNN, or as I like to call them, the Communist News…

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