Gunman Takes Huge Swing Ordering Hostages Buffalo Chicken Pizza
Read MoreThe OnionCHATTANOOGA, TN—In the midst of an armed bank robbery that authorities said is still ongoing, an unidentified gunman…
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DHS U-turns: Now Serving Deportations with Your Farm-to-Table Salad and Motel Pillow Mint
More Whiplash from DHS! Apparently, even they’re struggling to keep up with the sheer genius of President Trump’s immigration policies.…
USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs
Oh, the horror! CNN is now blaming President Trump for…checks notes…Americans buying too much stuff? Apparently, these socialists think you…
Jeff Scott Soto’s Hot Tip for Young Musicians: Get Schooled in Business or Prepare for Ramen Noodles
In a recent chin-wag with Brazil’s Rádio Kiss FM 92.5, that dude Jeff Scott Soto – you know, the guy…
Iran Starting To Regret Putting ‘Ol’ Blind Mohammed’ In Charge Of Aiming All The Missiles
TEHRAN — As yet another massive bombing attack from Israeli forces rained down on the Iranian capital after the most…
Trump’s SHOCKING G7 Exit: CNN Reporter Gets the REAL Reason (You Won’t Believe It!)
Our glorious leader Trump, back from hobnobbing with globalist elites at the G7, faced the fake news media head-on! CNN’s…
JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…
Witness: LAST IN LINE’s ANDREW FREEMAN Butchers AC/DC Anthems With Cover Band in Sin City
OMG! 😲 On June 12, some dude named Andrew Freeman, who sings for LAST IN LINE (never heard of ’em),…
California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out
California is going full-blown Communist! Now they want to unmask our brave ICE officers, probably so the Antifa mob can…
Ex-Defense Minister of Israel Believes Iran Conflict Can Be Solved With Hugs and Rainbows
Oh, another deep dive into the Mideast mess, courtesy of CNN and their latest attempt to undermine Israel! They’re chatting…