Meatpacking Workers Revolt: Cows Win as Humans Take a Break for Once!
Radical Union Thugs Strike Again, Threatening America’s Meat Supply In yet another blatant display of leftist union thuggery, thousands of…
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Blood of the Wolf Man – Joshua Williamson and Leomacs Try Not to Get Eaten by Universal’s Latest Monster Mash
Skybound Entertainment and Image Comics, in partnership with Universal Products & Experiences, today announced Universal Monsters: Blood of the Wolf…
John Krasinski Confirms ‘A Quiet Place 3’ Is Coming Summer 2027: Prepare to Shush in Style Again!
Oh look, another “A Quiet Place” sequel is coming because apparently, the world just can’t get enough of people tiptoeing…
History Of St. Patrick’s Day
Originally a Catholic feast day for the patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day has evolved into a global…
Friends, Coworkers Announce Plan To Gang Up On Depressed Man Right When He Feels Worst
KALISPELL, MT—Presenting a united front in their carefully timed effort, friends and coworkers announced plans Monday to gang up…
‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line
The post ‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line appeared first on The Onion. The…
‘Sinners’ Wins Oscar For Crappiest Movie To Win Oscar
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The horror movie Sinners has officially won the Oscar for “Crappiest Movie To Win An Oscar”.…
Joel Edgerton Going Nuts In Hopes Of Getting On Oscars Jumbotron
LOS ANGELES—Waving his arms wildly over his head and yelling as part of an apparent effort to attract attention,…
Trump Snubbed Again At Oscars For Role In ‘Home Alone 2’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — President Trump has once again been snubbed for his iconic role in Home Alone 2: Lost…
Timothée Chalamet Kicked Out Of Oscars For Bringing In Outside Award
LOS ANGELES—After flouting rules put in place to protect decorum at the Academy’s biggest night, actor Timothée Chalamet was…